As you are going to be a teen tomorrow, I can’t tell you how happy and sad I am at the same time. It feels like it was yesterday when you tip-toed around me and your world revolved around your Mama.
But over the last few years, I have always reminded myself that you were not only my daughter but also a strong and independent woman in making. And, now the time has come when you are going to take your first step into adulthood.
Soon your world will be more expansive, complicated and tough. It would be filled with things and people that I won’t be able to protect you from. And, there will be a day when someone is going to break your heart. And, it’s going to be awful. No one will be able to protect you from the pain – not even me
So, I want you to keep this letter for that bad day when you’ll need all your courage and determination to heal your broken heart.
Before you came into our lives, I fell in love with a man, who turned out to be your dad. It would be hard to believe that your boring and disciplined parents were young and carefree. Once your dad even got into a fight over me with another guy. But even before I had met your dad, I liked another boy during my final years at the school. We used to enjoy each other’s company and were very happy together. But then one day this boy broke my heart. I will reserve my detailed story for another day, but what I want you to know is that this moment might come in your life as well.
Sadly, during our times, girls were supposed to be quiet about their feelings. We were not allowed to acknowledge or discuss our feelings with anyone. Relationships before marriage were a big No!
Hence when I had a heartbreak, I couldn’t share it with your grandmom. It took me a lot of time to come out of that trauma and start living my life again.
But when I was undergoing that trauma, I promised myself that I won’t let my daughter suffer alone. I will be there for her for all the good and not-so-good decisions of her life. I want you to remember that I exactly know how does it feel to be heartbroken.
Your heart starts aching.
Your body starts shivering for no reason.
The smile that you were famous for, is lost.
And, you feel alone.
You want to talk to someone, but you are scared what if everyone feels that you are a loser because a jerk left you. Your friends might not have time to listen to you or might want to distance themselves from you as they find it uncool to be part of your pain.
During that time, please pick up the phone and call me.
I promise I won’t judge you.
I won’t say, “You’re better off without them.” Because I know it doesn’t feel that way at that moment.
Don’t even worry that I would say – “I told you so.” Because your mom has ignored a lot of advice that grandmom used to give to your mom!
I always want my kids to be happy and I’m never scared of their sorrow. Because I know that sorrow helps my kids to grow into a much better human being.
I don’t know if you remember the time when your best friend in pre-school fought with you and became best friend with another kid. You cried a lot because you missed him. And then suddenly, you found Varun, who has been your best friend for the last 11 years.
The same way, you will find the right person. But, before you find a right person, you will find yourself.
In the extreme situations of pain and grief, we lose the connect with the world and establish the connection with our true self. We learn who we really are. And you, my daughter, you are a Fire Bird!
When it happened to me, I roamed around with broken wings for some time and then I met your dad. But in case you feel that your dad saved me, then I am sorry. It wasn’t your dad who saved me. I saved myself.
During those dark days of my life, I had nobody to share my pain with. But your dad and I will always be there to help you to find strength and power to glue your broken wings and repair them. These wings might hurt a little bit and you will feel that you’re not able to fly the way you always used to. During these times, you need to trust yourself and your wings. With healing and time, you’ll see these broken wings bloom into something you had never imagined. Something that’ll take you to the most amazing heights in your life.
Remember my baby, like any other mom I would like to keep you safe under my wings, but at the same time, I can’t wait to watch you fly.
So, my darling, pick up the phone and call me. Because if you’re reading this letter it means the day has arrived.
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