We, women, don’t want to marry Mama’s Boys. But, we, as mothers, are raising our sons to be Mama’s Boys.
We don’t like it when our husbands talk about how amazing cook their moms are. But, when our sons talk about how amazing Rajma Chawal we cook – we feel so happy and proud of ourselves.
We hate our husbands when they talk to their moms 2-3 times in the day. But, when we raise our sons, we try our level best to become our sons’ whole world.
We make them so dependent on us that they are unable to imagine a world without us – that results in – Mama’s Boys.
Aren’t we all hypocrites?
Why do we expect different things from our husband and our son?
Aren’t we exactly like our husband’s mother when it comes to raising a son?
So, when I held my son for the first time, I promised myself that I won’t hold my son so tight that he doesn’t get a chance to experience the joys of other relationships.
I want my boy to grow into a Real Man, and not a Mama’s boy.
I want to nurture his sensitive side, but as his mom, I need to let my boy go, so he can grow into the man he is meant to be.
But what does it mean to be a Real Man? And, what can a mom teach her son to be the one?
Does being a real man or a gentleman is restricted to holding the door, standing up when a woman leaves and go get the car when it’s raining? Or, is it more than that?
For me and my son, it means much more. It means to learn the tough things about how to handle life and behave with your better half.
#1 “Real Men Don’t Hit – They Love”
When things get tough in a relationship, a mama’s boy always tries to find his power in verbal, physical or emotional abuse.
Whereas a Real Man understands that abuse is the tool of the weakest. Rather, Love is the weapon that strong people use. Brute force is definitely less compelling than self-giving love.
#2 “Real Men Don’t Shout – They Say SORRY”
A Real Man takes the ownership of his actions, choices, values and, beliefs. And, while he fulfills his responsibilities, he is never too proud to admit his mistakes. A Real Man says SORRY when he needs to!
But, Mama’s Boy always feels that he is right and no one can judge him. And, when he knows he has made a mistake, instead of admitting it – He shouts!
#3 “Real Men Don’t Hide – They CRY”
A Real Man is not afraid to show his emotions. He is honest about his feelings and not afraid of admitting his weaknesses or fears. A Real Man never builds a wall around himself so that he can hide his emotions from the world.
Unlike Mama’s Boy, a Real Man doesn’t feel ashamed in sharing his grief or challenges with his life partner.
#4 “Real Men Don’t Blame – They Find Solution”
Real Man doesn’t point fingers when things go wrong. He doesn’t complain about problems, but rather find solutions for it. He believes in making his work talk instead of beating his own trumpet.
He also tries to find answers to complex questions like – Am I Able To Give My Best To My Wife?
#5 “Real Men Don’t Get Scared By Women’s Intelligence – They Respect It”
Real Man never feels scared of intelligent women. He is, in fact, motivated to be around women, who want to fulfill their dreams. He is always critical of anyone who tries to keep women away from pursuing their dreams.
On the other hand, Mama’s boy always tries to control his wife and her dreams. He excludes her from the important decisions of life – be it shifting jobs, kids education or financial matters. He believes women don’t have anything to contribute to the world.
#6 “Real Men Accept Their Wives Without Changing Who They Really Are.”
Real Man firstly changes himself to be the best version of himself to inspire his lady to be the best version of herself. But, he never asks her to change who she really is. He strives for greatness as a husband and therefore inspires her lady to strive for it as well.
And, these reasons, make me think that as mothers of our sons, we have a very tough job at hand.
Will we push ourselves to make them Real Men rather than Mama’s Boys?
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