Let’s be honest with each other, motherhood is hard.
I have heard many mothers saying that motherhood is the most beautiful journey a woman can make. But, what they forget to tell about is how tough that journey is.
Motherhood is tough. It is tougher than studies. It is tougher than maintaining a career. It is tougher than anything else that I have ever imagined.
Between the sleepless nights, never-ending to-do lists and severe lack of a social life, I forget to see the beauty in it.
Because motherhood is so stressful and challenging, we sometimes forget how to just be happy in the midst of it all.
With time I realized, that being an unhappy and a stressed mom only makes things at even more unbearable for everyone.
So, based on my personal experience, I have made a thoughtful decision to let go of these 7 things to cultivate joy and happiness in my daily life.
1. I Chose To Be A Real & A Happy Mom Over A Perfect Mom
I can never be a perfect mom and neither can you. Perfect moms are like unicorns – they only exist in fantasies. I was too hard on myself, constantly setting impossibly high expectations that only increased the chances of my failure, making me seem much worse.
So, I decided to be a real and happy mom rather than a perfect mom.
2. I Stopped Being Stressed Over Making Bad Decisions
I used to feel stressed out after each and every parenting decision – be it as small as buying a diaper or be it as big as finalizing the school. I always used to feel – what if the decision doesn’t produce the expected results.
I always expected myself to do all the ‘right’ things all of the time. Until I realized no mom or dad knows about what’s the right thing to do.
3. I Allowed My Children To Fail
I released myself and my family from a lot of unnecessary pressures by giving my child a liberty to make their own mistakes and learn from their own failure – whether it is academic activities or anything else.
And, with time I did realize that Failure is the mother of success — depriving kids of the chance to make their own mistakes prevents them from learning from failure and gaining resilience.
I stopped fussing about my child’s milestones because I realize every child is unique and special. Sometimes, kids just need more time. They will be ready when they are ready!
4. I Allowed Myself To Have Guilt-Free “Me” Time
As a mom, we generously give love, time, and attention to our kids. And, we give up the “Me Time” just because spending time on oneself feels guilty!
Feeling guilty for not spending enough time with your kids, for not keeping up with basic household chores and for choosing to pamper yourself instead of taking care of your parenting responsibilities.
But if you don’t let that guilt go, there will come a time when you stop enjoying motherhood because you feel you’re never good enough. And, that’s what happened to me.
So to overcome it, I used some coping strategies to spend the “Me Time”. It allows me to take a breather from fussing over the kids and make time for activities I enjoy.
5. I Stopped Listening To Unsolicited Advice
As a mom, we receive unsolicited advice from so many people, that sometimes it could be overwhelming and kill the joy of motherhood.
All kids are as unique as their moms. I have learned a valuable lesson about not taking others’ advice very seriously.
What is good for others doesn’t make it good for your baby, so just let it go.
6. I Stopped Comparing Myself Against Other Moms
My mind used to keep track of irrelevant things –Which mom does more work? Who’s most consistent? Which mom contributed most to my child’s class? Who were the moms doing more work than I was? Comparing myself with others wasted my energy and pulled me down.
Now I’ve learned that if I let this behavior go, it helps me calm down and focus my energies on relevant things.
7. I Stopped Yelling
Under stress and frustration, I used to take comfort in yelling. But, yelling often frightened and intimidated my kids.
It used to make me even sadder as I used to realize it later that the trust I created with my kids was damaged because of a weak moment.
Now when stressed, I take some time off and listen to my favorite music. In these moments, I defer any discussions with my kids. Later when I have those discussions I make sure to have a positive tone and engage with my kids better.
Believe Me, we have everything that we need to be a great mom. But, we can only bring it into practice, if we keep ourselves happy!
We can’t raise happy kids without building some happiness within our own soul!
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