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IFORHER
Home > Parenting > Motherhood

Dear Daughter, We Are Your Seat Belts Not Brakes: Letter From Mother To Daughter

by Guest Contributor
December 8, 2020
mother-daughter-letter
Image: Screengrab/EnglishVinglish

Dear Daughter,

When I was a teenager, your grandparents had their favorite interrogation questions:

  • Where are you going?
  • Who would be there?
  • When would you be back?
  • Did you finish your homework?
  • Did you study for the test?

And, all these questions made me believe that my parents were strict. But now, as a parent myself, I realize that they weren’t strict. They were scared. And so are your father and me.

For parents, the biggest fear is the idea of their kids getting hurt in the course of growing up.

As a parent, we are in-built with a strong sense of protecting our kids against any danger. Hence, a world where 2-year-old get raped or kids are kidnapped and kept as sex slaves, the only way we can protect you is by setting limits.

I understand you see our act of setting limits as a sign of holding you back.

Suffocated-daughter

You might even feel suffocated under the series of ‘Nos’. But trust me, the reason is not you. When we say no to attending late-night parties or wearing your favorite short dress, it not because of you. We don’t like it ourselves when you ask us for permission to go on a road trip with your boyfriend and we say no. We completely trust both of you.

Darling, Trust isn’t the issue. We trust you more than anyone else.

Your dad and I are very proud of the way you have turned into an independent and strong young lady. You’ve already faced multiple situations that would push many people double your age into a downward spiral of self-pity. You have surprised us with your kindness, strength, and courage. So, please don’t even spend a moment thinking that we don’t trust you!

We trust you but don’t trust the world around you. Baby, we want to protect you. We want to wrap you in our arms and protect you from the cruelties of this world. We have always tried to be the seat belt that protects you from any bump in the road.

The bumps might have changed their form across time. Earlier, we used to protect you against the virus breakouts in schools and now we try to protect you against rapists, drug dealers, drunken drivers, and God knows what.

But, while being the seat belt, we never wanted to become the breaks.

father-daughter-mother

While wanting to protect you, we never wanted to stop you from creating your own memories, enjoying new experiences, and learning from the same. But it’s hard to let go. It’s hard to let go off all the limits in a world where flowers are crushed every day.

Also Read: This full-time mother shared her struggle to be more than a mother

As you navigate through life and grow as a person, we are equally excited and terrified as you are. We might put a bold face, but we are scared, baby. We are scared that someone might hurt you. Even worse, we might lose you.

So, be a little patient with your parents. Everything that we do or say is out of our love for you. We don’t set limits to be cruel. We set limits to protect you, to make sure you have a hell of a ride, but with the appropriate protection.

Because all we want for you on this ride is happiness, success, and safety.

A humble request to our readers:

IFORHER’s Open letters series capture articles contributed by our community members’ with the objective to share their deepest feelings with the community. If you can relate to them, please don’t forget to drop a message for the writer.

And if you don’t please don’t judge them. We all go through different struggles in life. Just because we don’t have that struggle doesn’t mean their struggle isn’t real. 

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of I for Her. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, IforHer does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.

Tags: Beautiful RelationshipsBeing a daughterBeing a mombeing a parentGood ParentingLife LessonsParentingParenting Hacktrending

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