Explore the touching letter from a stay-at-home mom to her husband. Discover the love, challenges, and unique moments that make the stay-at-home mom’s journey heartfelt. Gain a sincere glimpse into what the husband needs to do if his wife is becoming a stay-at-home mom.
Heart-touching Stay At Home Mom Letter To Husband
Dear Husband,
The big day is almost here, and soon we will be parents to an angelic child who will fill up our lives with cute gurgles and chubby smiles. And in preparation for this significant moment, I have taken the most crucial decision of my life.
I have quit my job to become a stay-at-home mom.
I have been weighing the pros and cons of this decision for many months now, and believe me, it is the most substantial risk that I am taking. I am not worried financially; I know you will handle it. I am worried about the storm of change that I am throwing myself into, and I am not sure that I can manage it if you are not on the same page.
Being a first-time parent isn’t easy. It’s like appearing for an exam with no defined syllabus.
Luckily, I have my mother and my mother-in-law, and the neighbor aunty, that lady with two kids in the next building, numerous moms in the park, and not to mention the infinite number of websites, social network groups, and apps that will guide me through this journey.
But what about you? Whom will you ask about the green potty that your kid will pass? Imagine you calling up your dad to ask about it. He probably might answer, “Eh?!?!? Here, talk to your mom.” Will your friends be able to help you with some tricks in making your kid write B and D properly? But most of all, can they help you handle your wife’s erratic, irritable mood?
Trust me, a ‘father community’ to discuss parenting issues is not that popular yet.
That’s because raising a kid has always been in the woman’s department as it is believed that girls are born with a motherly instinct – the warmth, the protectiveness, the understanding, the foresightedness. It’s kind of genetically ingrained in us. However, I believe that fathers have a more significant role than they are attributed.
So, while everybody is preparing me for pregnancy and life after a kid, let me tell you what you can expect in life to be with me as a stay-at-home mom. Be ready for a radical change in my life.
I am as educated as you are and have spent an almost equal number of years in the corporate world as you have. I have dreamed, aimed, and slogged to reach the position, just as you have. Leaving my job to be a stay-at-home mother is not a ‘sacrifice’ that I am making.
I have taken this step to give the best to our children.
But my life is going to change completely. I will not have a good night’s rest for many years. Instead of getting ready every morning to go to the office, I will hardly find time to comb my hair once every three days. I will step out of the home, not to reach the office but to the park or grocery store.
The main question of my life will be – ‘What should I cook today?”. The only music to my ears will be the nonstop screaming and crying of the kid. And most importantly, my human interaction will come down to you, the kid, and my maid (who will eventually become my best friend).
It certainly is a radical change. And I need you to hold me tight from losing myself and my sanity. Be ready to live with an irritable wife.
Please expect me to be in an irritable and annoyed mood for the next couple of decades. After that, we will both be too old to change or to bother. If you find me in an irritable mood, please, I request you, never ask, “Are you on chums?” That question makes me want to punch you in the face. I do not menstruate 365 days a year and PMS will become the least annoying thing in my life going forward.
This irritability will come from many factors – weariness, stress, tension, or just plain tiredness and pressure from all quarters of life. But mainly because of the loneliness that will creep into my life- the lack of human faces to see and interact with. I want you to be the face of the many faces that I am leaving behind.
I want you to talk, interact, make intelligent conversations, and discuss world politics, and the debate over the new government. Just talk, so that my grey cells don’t dry up in the trivialities of life.
Please grow up now.
Gone are your baby days when you behaved like a baby and I happily indulged you. I have a real baby who needs my attention and I cannot handle more than that. So please, grow up. Don’t expect me to keep the tea cup in the sink, or tolerate watching you take an amazing Sunday afternoon nap while the kid uses my tummy for bungee jumping. Don’t tell me that you get just one day to relax, because I get none!! Instead, lend me a helping hand.
This house, this kid is not mine alone. It’s yours too. So, share the load. I will be exhausted- mentally, physically, and emotionally. I need you to be my backbone.
Pamper me.
There will be fights. Endless fights. So much, so that we will stop talking to each other for days. But understand this. While you will have the option to step out of the house, go to the office, smoke out your worries, and lighten up your mood with a chai, I will be here, trapped in the same four walls, engulfed by the wails of an infant who understands nothing and have no way to release my pain and worries in thin air.
Every time we fight, I will coil in a little. So just listen to me. Let me cry, let me complain, don’t judge me, don’t jump to a conclusion. Just try a little harder to understand where this volcano erupting from. It exploded succumbing to the pressure of layers and layers of miscommunication, no- communication, and total silence. So, instead of pushing away the issue by presenting an expensive gift or a candlelight dinner, sit with me and listen.
Romance will be the last thing on my mind. But don’t give up on me too soon. A little cuddle and a few kisses might do the trick.
Play your role.
Remember you jokingly say that you have done your task by giving your sperms? I hope you won’t take that seriously. Parenthood has two important entities- the mother and the father. So, putting your soldiers to work is just the first step, there is a long journey ahead, and I cannot travel through this part without your support.
I know you will be exhausted when you come home from work. But instead of watching TV, spend some quality time with your kid. Instead of silencing the wailing child by handing over the phone, go to the park, and play a real game. I know you will be there by me at every doctor’s visit and school PTM, but let me not be the only one asking questions. Your participation is more important than your passive presence.
This will help you avoid a huge question I am going to ask- “Why is everything my responsibility alone?” This is not to pick up a fight, but because I will feel overburdened, overworked, and under-rested. Once the child comes in, this pocket-sized powerhouse will squeeze out every ounce of energy from me. It will mean the world to me if you play a bigger role.
Did I scare you already? I am scared to death too.
As a stay-at-home mother, there will be days when I will feel worthless, and insignificant when I see other women climbing the ladders to success while I fold the daily laundry. There will be times when I cry myself throughout the night, wake up with red eyes and a sullen face thinking that this was a mistake, but when you ask me what happened, I will say, “Nothing”, too guilty to even think of putting my career ambitions over our child’s wellbeing. There will be times, when I am pepped up by the thought that the kid is now daycare ready and I can start job-hunting, only to be rejected by every company I apply to.
These are the moments I need you the most. While I bring life to this world, nurture it, protect it, and take care of it; I want you to take care of us both.
With all the love in my heart,
Your wife.
With all the love in my heart,
Your wife.
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