“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! See this?”, yells our 7-year-old daughter with enthusiasm as she learned how her skirt flies in the air when she swirls.
Dear Atul,
Sadly, you again missed another special moment.
And, the most heart-breaking thing is that you missed it because you were looking down at your phone.
Atul, you need to stop cheating on your family with your cell phone.
Believe me, I understand that how the phone helps you to unwind after a long day. There have been times I’ve also preferred my facebook wall over watching our daughter going down the slide for the 78th time. I get it that sometimes it gets boring to be with kids.
But here’s what I don’t think you realize: You’re missing out.
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And these small, insignificant moments that pass you by, as your thumb scrolls on your phone screen, are never going to come back.
Do you realize how annoying it is to find you checking your Instagram feeds to know what’s happening in other people’s life, rather than showing any interest in your own wife’s life? And this after she has spent the whole day taking care of the kids and running around trying to finish household chores.
How embarrassing it is to find you busy during family dinner connecting with people online, whom you hardly ever going to meet in person, at the expense of people whom you call your family to whom you matter the most!
People on your friend’s list matter more than people who carry your family name.
How disgusting it is to find that while you can hear the ding of a message tone from the 2 rooms away. But, when your own daughter sitting next to you calls you, she has to constantly repeat your name because you ignored her for the first time.
How sickening it is to find that in our marriage its always 3 people involved – you, me and your cell phone. On multiple occasions, I felt like you were only half there with me. When I was talking to you, rather than giving attention to my words, you chose to give attention to tweets of Donald Trump or a random celebrity.
I wonder – back when smartphones weren’t a thing yet, how would you have survived without a phone in your hand.
I am not only sad for my daughter and for me, but, I’m sad for you too. You are always half present with us, and because of this, you’re missing your life.
I don’t want you to look back after a few years and realize how much you missed because you were looking down at your phone. And, I don’t want you to have any regrets about how much you weren’t mentally present with us.
I don’t want you to look up one day and see a grownup girl, who no longer cares if you’re paying attention to that tiny adorable thing she was doing.
And, my fear is that one day our daughter is going to figure out what she’s competing against for your attention. It would be heart-breaking for her to realize that a random Instagram photo on the screen is more important to you than her.
But, you know what is my biggest fear? My biggest fear is that she is going to follow in your footsteps and succumb herself to the addiction of mobile phones.
One day she might also cheat on us with her cell phone. She would also prefer to choose her screen over us.
I love you but your addiction to the phone is hurting us. I do understand if it is one of those days when you must prioritize your phone over us because of your work. But, what I don’t understand is how things that can wait, get preference over your family responsibilities.
Your phone addiction is affecting our marriage and the relationship you have with our child.
Please, I’m begging you, put your phone down every once in a while. Be present with us. Look us in the eyes while your phone is in the next room. I promise you won’t regret it.
Love,
Your wife!
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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of I for Her. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, I for Her does not assume any liability or responsibility for them
