“Mai Teri Baahon Ke Jhoolon Mein Pali Babul, Jaa Rahi Hun Chhodkar Teri Gali Babul, Khoobsurat Ye Zamane Yaad Ayenge, Chaah Ke Bhi Hum Tumhe Na Bhool Paayenge”
It was a beautiful summer morning. I was sitting next to the window and sipping my coffee when these lyrics knocked on my ear-drums. The “Chai ki Tapri” across the road was playing All India Radio on which these soulful songs were being aired.
I recently got married to the world’s most loving and caring husband. The family whose surname I presently carry, showers the best possible love and blessings on me.
It has been 3 months now, that I dropped my maiden name and I happily adopted my husband’s surname. I have no regrets about changing my name because I did that out of love & affection, and not because anyone was pushing me to do it. But, on this beautiful monsoon morning, post listening to the lyrics of this “Bidaai song” from Shilpa Shetty’s Dhadkan movie I felt a moment of unease.
Before I could take my last sip, a question popped up somewhere under the layers of what was once a daughter’s heart. I thought:
Does dropping my maiden name pulls me out of the purview of the duties of a daughter? Does being a wife mean that I can’t be a daughter anymore? Does my parent have no rights over me any more?
And bang came back the reply from my heart: “NO”.
I was a daughter before I became someone’s wife or daughter-in-law. A sister before becoming a sister-in-law. And, I was the third strongest pillar of my parental home, after my father and mother.
Since my marriage, I had always been talking to parents every day using all the usual means – calls, WhatsApp messages, and sometimes even video calls.
But, this time I ditched the web of social media and picked up one of my old diaries and a pen (obviously gifted by my parents) and inked the pages with all the emotions tiding high up in me.
Dear Mom and Dad,
It has been months since I penned down any of my thoughts. And I’m so happy I’m writing today after a long time and it is all because of the special thoughts I had about you. I know you guys are happy and content to see me all joyous with your son-in-law.
Dad, I couldn’t thank you more for choosing the perfect match for me; and Mom, I am following all the lessons you taught me about being a good life partner.
But, Mom does that mean that I should forget the teachings of 25 years of my life on how to be a good daughter!
I still remember once you told me that the elder daughter is like a son. She is the pillar of strength for her father, moral support for her mother, and the protector of her siblings.
And, I still remember how all my life I’ve tried my level best to inculcate these words into my behavior.
I still remember how you were crying on the morning of my wedding, and told me “Meri beti nahi beta hai tu.” So mom how can I forget everything both of you have done for me when I needed you the most.
Today, I want to tell you that I believe, being someone’s wife or daughter-in-law doesn’t mean I am any less a daughter now.
I am still the daughter, whom you can call and say: “Beta, internet ka bill bhar dena”.
I am still the daughter, whom you ask: “Beta, can you send some of my e-mails.”
I am still the daughter, whom you can command: “You have to come to the market with me today.”
I am still the daughter, whom you can tell: “Beta, ghar aate time, papa ki medicines le aana.”
I am still the same daughter, whom you can call and ask:”Bohot din ho gaye, saath me khaana nahi banaya.”
I am still the same daughter, whom you can call and ask: “Papa ke birthday par kaunsa cake order karein.”
I am also the same daughter, whom you can call and say: “Beta, today I having a severe headache. I miss your head massages.”
I am still the daughter, you can call and ask: “Beta, aaj baat nahi saath ghumne ka mann kar raha hai”
Mom and Dad, I am still your daughter…
Who will love to listen to all your workplace stories Who will come running to you on a single call Who will bring you together post your dramatic fights Who will remind you of your medications Who will still care for your joint pains Who will pray for your good health Who will always want to be the third strongest pillar of our house all her life
And, I am still the same daughter who will proudly say “Before a wife, I’m always a daughter”
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of I for Her. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, I for Her does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.