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Home > Parenting > Fatherhood: Issues, Tips, Open Letters, Real Stories

This Bride’s Father Refuses To Do ‘Kanyadaan’, The Reason Will Melt Your Heart

by IForHer Team
October 5, 2019

The way this father challenged the concept of Kanyadaan at his daughter’s wedding, made this marriage extra special.

Bride- Father-Refuses-'Kanyadaan'-reason-best-marriage
Image: Twitter

Marriages are always special. But some are more special than others. This marriage was one such special wedding that promoted the message of equality and women empowerment across various rituals.

From having female Pandits to calling out the mother’s name before the father’s name to father’s refusal to do Kanyadaan, this marriage is just the perfect example that what we need our society to learn from.

So What Happened?

It’s always an emotional moment for parents to get their daughters married. Though the parents are extremely happy as their daughter is about to start a new era in her life, yet some rituals evoke a lot of emotions. And one such ritual is Kanyadaan.

‘Kanyadaan’- a popular Hindu ritual in which the father gives away his daughter to the groom as a part of his parental duty. Though this ritual is widely accepted across India, early this year, the father in Kolkata refused to do Kanyadaan. His reason was so heart-touching reason that many came forward to support this father.

Earlier this year, Asmita Ghosh posted on Twitter about a wedding with a difference that we believe is the wedding of this century.

In her post, she mentioned how female pandits performed the wedding and how the father of the bride refused to give away his daughter like a possession because his daughter is ‘not a property to give away’.

The post not only gathered thousands of likes but many came forward to praise the progressive outlook of this marriage.

“I’m at a wedding with female pandits. They introduce the bride as the daughter of and (mom first!!!). The bride’s dad gave a speech saying he wasn’t doing kanyadaan because his daughter wasn’t property to give away. I’m so impressed.”

I’m at a wedding with female pandits. They introduce the bride as the daughter of <mother’s name> and <father’s name> (mom first!!!). The bride’s dad gave a speech saying he wasn’t doing kanyadaan because his daughter wasn’t property to give away. ???????????? I’m so impressed. pic.twitter.com/JXqHdbap9D

— Asmita (@asmitaghosh18) February 4, 2019

Here are some of the reactions that people shared in response to this beautiful post.

Good one! My brother who is very well read in the old scriptures also did not do Kanyadaan for the same reason! He won arguments with several pundits for it. Please convey support to the family. @Mohanalmal

— Aditya Shroff (@aditshroff) February 5, 2019

Good one! My brother who is very well read in the old scriptures also did not do Kanyadaan for the same reason! He won arguments with several pundits for it. Please convey support to the family. @Mohanalmal

— Aditya Shroff (@aditshroff) February 5, 2019

In which planet did this happen ? Beautiful people.

— Zarafy (@Tontangbi) February 5, 2019

Very brave of them ! Something that need to emulated ???? https://t.co/FOawqHYDE3

— Ramesh Chandra (@drramvictor) February 5, 2019

Who are these woke people?! Would love more context, like a general how did they pull it off thing 🙂

— Vaishali (@vaishalisvp) February 4, 2019

Earlier this year, a Bengali bride was also being applauded on social media when she gave a befitting reply to her relative during Kanakanjali as she was asked to throw rice at her parents as a symbol of repaying her parent’s debt to which she retorted, “You can never repay a parent’s debt!”

At IFORHER, we applaud this father’s courage for coming forward to change the age-old thought process and show society how we should treat our daughters.

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