When you’re in the zone, where you feel lonely and all your emotions are bottled inside you, it is difficult to stop yourself pondering over the reasons behind your isolation.
And, gradually, these thoughts invite a lot of negativity that knocks your lonely soul down!
Yes, it all starts from our mind, from that one thought of being lonely. And, soon this one thought turns into a wave as more thoughts start to collect.
And, with more and more negative thoughts, you start drowning into the idea of blaming yourself.
Some of these negative thoughts are totally ridiculous.
Are there times when you look at yourself and feel disappointed and overwhelmed with self-disgust?
Do you feel you don’t deserve it when good things happen to you?
Do you feel convinced that you look horrible and disgusted, and that everyone else thinks so too?
Or, Do you wish you had more friends to hang out with, but are scared that they, too, will find you disgusting?
These are feelings that everyone has from time to time, but when they become a constant feature of one’s inner life, they can have severe consequences for your mental health.
There are multiple ways to define anxiety and depression. But, in layman terms, having anxiety and depression could feel something like –
Feeling constantly scared and tired at the same time.
Suffering from the fear of failure, but yet no urge or will to be productive.
Longing to be with friends, but then at the same time detesting to be surrounded by people.
Yearning to be alone, but wishing to be not lonely.
Feeling everything at once and feeling paralyzed and disconnected at the next moment.
In the state of depression, we are surrounded by a lot of negative thoughts which we want to overcome but are unable to. Because somewhere deep down we have lost confidence in ourselves and have the nagging feeling that we can’t end up being more underconfident, sad, disappointed and depressed.
For instance, you wish to socialize more to feel connected with people but due to the fear of not being accepted, you never give it a try and hence, feel demotivated and depressed.
In short, loneliness kicks the negative evaluation that pushes our mind to trick us into a dirty blame game that drives inwardness, hence causing depression.
In the vicious circle of loneliness leading to depression, one might indulge into a lot of negative self-evaluation. If you are one of those who are trapped in this vicious circle, then there are certain suggestions that will help you to break the chains and take baby steps towards a positive and happy life:
1. Socialize To Increase Your Support System
Start talking with more and more people even if you can’t connect with their thoughts. Gradually you will find people with whom you will be able to form a stronger bond.
2. Try Mindfulness To Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts
With mindfulness, you don’t have to push away your depressive thoughts, but instead, find the courage to accept them as what they are and not fall prey to excessive overthinking.
3. Show Some Compassion To Yourself
When you’re thinking about yourself being ugly, in terms of your hair and looks, keep calm and give these thoughts a break, because nobody is perfect. You’re allowed to have some flaws too!
4. Calm Yourself With Positivity
Stop thinking about your flaws and negative thoughts and start thinking about your positive side. Assure yourself with your strengths and remind your brain about the assets that you have. Thinking positively helps your brain overcome poisonous thoughts.
5. Try Emotional Coping Strategies
In spite of thinking about your flaws, start praising yourself for the good things you have. Try out emotion-focused coping strategies that don’t change the situation, but do change the way you feel about it. It generally helps in learning how to manage the feelings we have about the things that we can’t change. For instance- Rather than thinking about your nose to be too large, think that you have a different nose and that makes you different from others.
Don’t think that you alone are suffering from depression. There are about 121 million people worldwide suffering from this ailment.
The problem of depression can only be solved when a person starts thinking about herself positively and turn their flaws into strengths.
Bottom line: Take it easy, move forward in baby steps. And then turn them into giant leaps on the journey of self-discovery and self-love!