How after suffering for 23 years in an abusive marriage, this inspiring mother of two kids finally found her courage to take a stand against an abusive husband. We hope her inspiring story would give courage to many more women, who are struggling in a toxic and abusive marriage.
While sharing her inspiring story with HoB, this brave woman mentioned:
“At 16, I became a single mother–my husband passed away in an accident the day I found out I was pregnant. But when my son was born, my in-laws took him away–they’re an influential family and I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t even get to hold him, I was abandoned at the hospital. My parents took me home, but I slipped into depression. Seeing my condition, my parents enrolled me into class 12th–that’s where I met Sanjiv.
Sanjiv had proposed to me before, but by then I was already engaged. But this time he convinced me when he said, ‘Together, we will fight and bring back your son.’ I was vulnerable and said ‘yes.’
At 18, I looked forward to starting my new life. But on the first night itself; Sanjiv slapped me and forced himself upon me. After that, he’d abuse me daily. Even his family was horrible to me–they wouldn’t give me food, I’d have to scrape the kadhai and eat their leftovers. During winters, they’d hide my woollens. I’d think of escaping, but I didn’t want to have another failed marriage. So, I kept mum and prayed it would get better.
And then 3 months later I realised I was pregnant, still they didn’t stop. Throughout my pregnancy they’d make me do chores till 4AM. And when I gave birth to a girl, no sweets were distributed, no ‘congratulations’ came my way. I had to make my way home from the hospital by myself.
But I stopped caring– for me, my daughter Arti was my whole world. But when Arti was just 2, Sanjiv started hitting her… only because she’d cry when she was hungry. I was furious, but I couldn’t do anything; I had no means to support us. So, I bore it, even after my son was born 2 years later.
Over the years, my kids would stand up for me, but he’d hit them too. At 25, I started looking for an out–I tried starting a mehendi business and looked for jobs; I even applied to become a teacher, but Sanjiv would create obstacles.
In 2012, with my kids’ encouragement, I joined politics. I gained recognition quickly, but again, Sanjiv forced me to quit. When I said ‘no’, he hit me like never before and kicked me in the stomach; the pain made me faint. When I woke up, he said ‘Mere tukdo pe palti ho.’ That was my breaking point! At work, I was a confident woman, but I had to be strong at home too– I was finally done.
So, 23 years later, I mustered up the courage and in the quiet of the night, my kids and I escaped. He showed up at home a few times, and still sends me abusive messages, but I’m done being scared, I’m never going back.
At 46, my kids and I are starting afresh, earning and building our lives together. I’m training to become a life coach to help other women get out of abusive marriages. I suffered for 23 years because I didn’t know better, but I just want people to know that if I could find the strength after all these years… you can too.”
At IFORHER, we are in awe of her courageous soul and wish her luck for the coming years. Her story is a living example of that it’s never too late to take a stand for yourself. We hope her story will help many more to find their hidden courage and create a life of dignity!