As the world is struggling with COVID-19 pandemic, there are many unfortunate families who are losing their dear ones. What makes it even harder to handle is the fact that people are losing their family members in a sudden moment.
One such person who shared her pain of losing a closed one is Assistant Commissioner of Delhi Police Surender Jeet Kaur. She recently lost her loving husband unexpectedly to Coronavirus.
What made her story so painful is the fact that she held herself responsible for her husband’s death and how she never got a chance to say goodbye. A day after her husband Charan Jeet Singh, 54, succumbed to COVID-19 at a hospital in Delhi, she spoke to Indian Express:
“My husband didn’t step out of the house when the lockdown started, but I went out daily because of my job… I will never be able to forgive myself”
Remembering her husband, she spoke to HOB:
“He hated the color orange on me. Whenever I wore it, he’d say, ‘Bandariya banke aa gayi’ and tease me. He just knew how to make people laugh– his energy was contagious. I often got home late from police duty, but he’d wait for me to have dinner. If it was an early night, we’d go for a walk after– we lived a simple, sweet life.”
But on April 1st, things changed forever for the couple. Recalling her trauma, she shared:
On April 1st, I was admitted as the ACP incharge of a Covid cell. I had to manage Covid patients’ data. I was on duty from 10 am to 2 am. I was scared, but it was duty, and we had protective gear.
But 1.5 months later, I got a fever. I tested positive, and within the next few days, my husband, dad, brother and house help did too.
While all of us showed mild symptoms, my husband was diagnosed with pneumonia as well. Before I could even digest this news, he called and gave me instructions on how to manage the finances if he didn’t make it. I started sobbing and told him to not say such things. After that, he was put on the ventilator.
Over the next 2 weeks, the rest of us were discharged, but his condition was worsening. I called the hospital everyday to ask how he was doing, but there wasn’t any good news. A few days later, the hospital called to say he was very critical, but I still couldn’t speak to him. All we could do was pray.
And then the news came that broke her. She added:
3 days later, as I was going to the Gurudwara, I got a call from the hospital– ‘We’re sorry ma’am, but we couldn’t save him.’ I broke down and told the driver to take me home. How could this happen? We all made it, why didn’t God spare him?
We were supposed to move to Canada to live with our son– he hadn’t seen us since last November. We were planning his niece’s wedding. Our last conversation was about finances. He was only 54…and he died alone.
Losing someone so close is never easy. Sharing her extreme pain, Surender Kaur mentioned:
The pain is unbearable. It’s been 12 days since he left. Most of my day is spent on calls with my son or sister. My son tells me, ‘Mumma I will take care of you, I love you so much.’ He can’t even fly down to be with us– I honestly don’t know what’s happening.
I can’t stop thinking about his smiling face before he was admitted. I’m trying to reminisce about our happy memories–the way we’d exercise together, the holidays we took and the way he’d complain about how many suits I bought. He never leaves my mind. The house, my life is eerily silent without him, and I just wish I’d at least gotten to say goodbye.”
At IFORHER, we hope God gives strength to Surender to bear this excruciating pain. Her painful story is a reminder of all those families, who are losing their dear ones to this deadly disease.