Fighting against an abusive marriage isn’t easy. Especially, in the patriarchal society like ours. Many times, women find them all alone fighting against the toxic marriages as their own parents refuse to stand by them. While many succumb to the pressure of society and parents, there are very few who manage to gather the courage and move out to build a better life for themselves.
Recently, we stumbled over one such inspiring story. While speaking with HoB, a daughter shared how her mother fought against the toxic marriage all alone. She stood for herself and her kids, even when her parents warned about abandoning her! Here’s her inspiring story:
“My mother came from an orthodox family; she was married off at 17 and gave birth to me at 18. Right from the start, the marriage was abusive; even when she was pregnant with me, he’d beat her. She confided in her parents about the abuse several times, but each time she was told to ‘adjust’ to her new life; domestic abuse wasn’t a deal-breaker for them.
Even after my brother, Sameer, was born, nothing changed. We grew up seeing constant fights and my father abusing our mother. We were scared to even go to school; we feared he’d hit mom while we were away. But even if we tried to intervene, he’d beat us too.
When I was 9, we didn’t go to school for two months. Our school counselor called my mother to discuss our absence; that’s when Maa realized how the situation at home was impacting our well-being and decided to separate. Her parents were furious– they threatened to cut all ties with her, but mom stood her ground and the three of us moved out.
Maa took up a job at the call center to provide for us and completed her education simultaneously. While Sameer and I were studying in primary school, Maa was giving her 12th boards! Her day started early and ended late. Right from managing household chores to ensuring we don’t miss out on school anymore and juggling her own job and studies, Maa was on her toes 24/7. But she made it look so easy.
At 12, I saw Maa graduate; I was so proud of her! She went on to pursue an MBA degree and landed herself a job as a product manager! Around the same time, her divorce was finalized. Things were finally looking up for us! And then, Kay entered our lives.
Maa met Kay during a meeting in Mumbai 6 years ago. Initially, we knew of Kay as Maa’s Dubai-based work friend who would visit us whenever he came down to Mumbai. Sameer and I were both fond of him.
And then, 2 months ago, when we were all in Dubai, Maa broke the news to us– ‘Kay and I are dating!’ We were overjoyed! That day, the four of us had dinner and walked around the streets of Dubai, while they told us about how they fell in love. Maa spoke with such a twinkle in her eye, it was the happiest I’d ever seen her!
Sameer and I returned to Mumbai after, but within a month, these lovebirds dropped another bomb! On 12th December, they announced, ‘We’re coming down to Mumbai, we’re getting married in 5 days!’
I went from feeling excited to overwhelmed to emotional; I was so happy for Maa! Sameer and I became the official planners and managed to pull off this ‘Chatt mangni patt byaav’ wedding seamlessly.
Just like how mothers get emotional at their daughter’s wedding, I found myself crying during Maa’s pheras. During the vidaai, she actually said ‘Isko yaha se bahar nikalo, yeh mujhe bhi rula rahi hai, mera makeup kharab ho jayega!’ Everyone burst out laughing– it was the perfect day!
Before Kay entered our lives, the 3 of us were managing fine. But since he has come, everything has just gotten merrier. Maa has a spring step, and Sameer and I have the kind of family we’ve always longed for. I think some people are just worth that second chance!”
At IFORHER, we are in awe of this inspiring woman, who fought against all circumstances to build a better life for her kids and herself! We salute her!