Motherhood is a special journey that brings a lot of happiness and blessings into your life. In this special yet difficult phase, one person we need the most is the father of our child.
From making us feel special to holding our hands during the anxious moments to making us believe that no matter what we are together in this journey – the role of life partner in the motherhood journey is inevitable.
But what if life depletes you of that support? What if life takes away the most important person in your life and leaves you in the lurch as you navigate the paths of motherhood all alone. One such brave mother is a Malayalam film actress Neha Iyer.
Neha Iyer’s heartbreaking story of losing her husband, Avinash, just a few days after she came to know about her pregnancy is not only heartbreaking but inspiring too.
While sharing her inspiring story with HoB, this mother opened up about how she had no choice but to embark on the motherhood journey without her loving husband:
“When we first found out we were pregnant, Avinash and I just stared at each other in silence — it didn’t sink in. But when it did, we felt a surge of happiness flow into our hearts as we held each other close. It was our happiest moment. We’d been best friends for 8 years, and married for 6, and wanted nothing more than to have our own little person to raise together.
When we were best friends, he had a thing for me, but I friend-zoned him! Still, we spent all our time together, had endless conversations, went spontaneous trips — we were inseparable. Then when I finally realised I had feelings for him and confessed, he said, ‘Finally, some sense has been knocked into your head!’ and now I was having a baby with him… my best friend!
But, 5 days after finding out we’re pregnant, everything changed. Avinash was playing TT one evening, when I got a call informing me that he had collapsed. I ran down with glucose, thinking it could be exhaustion. But when I saw him lying there, looking lifeless, I ran over to give him CPR — I shook him, and begged him to wake up. But nothing worked.
We took him to the ICU, but I was told that he was no more — he’d had a cardiac arrest. I couldn’t believe it — he was young and healthy. How could this happen? I remember breaking down to a complete stranger, and then freezing in sheer shock.
The month after was terrible. I’d lock myself in my room, draw the curtains and lie in bed for hours. I’d shut everyone out and switched off my phone. I couldn’t get myself to cry because I knew it would affect my pregnancy. But, I was completely numb — how could my best friend whom I’d imagined spending my life with just leave?
But I found the strength to cope because I had dealt with my mother’s suicide just 3 years ago. Slowly, I shifted all my energy towards the baby. I knew that if I continued like that, it would affect our child, so I pushed myself to go out with friends, meditate and participate in happiness and reading groups.
Then, the most miraculous thing happened 5 months ago — little Ansh came into this world on my husband’s birthday. Everything from his smile, to his mischievous eyes is a spitting image of Avinash. Believe it or not, I’ve only begun to process that Avinash is no more. I break down every now and then, but I keep working and push myself for Ansh with my family’s help.
It’s been a year since Avinash passed, but there are moments when his absence hits me in the coldest ways possible — like when I see other couples bickering about their baby, my heart breaks. But then I look into Ansh’s mischievous eyes, and the way he sticks his tongue out at me exactly the way Avinash would when I’d tease him, and suddenly I feel like Avinash never left… and maybe that’s because it’s true. Love never really dies.”
At IFORHER, we are in awe of this inspiring mother as she shows how we, mothers, turn into superheroes for their kids when life gets tough. We hope many women struggling with their life circumstances would seek inspiration from this brave mom, who is ready to fight against any life circumstances for her kid.