In the country, where many women are raised to be daughters-in-law, here is an inspiring story of parents who raised a strong and independent woman. How these parents empowered their daughter to stand against a toxic fiancée is a great parenting lesson in how we should raise our daughters.
While sharing her inspiring story with HOB, this daughter talked about how from a very young age her parents raised her to be brave in a misogynist society:
“I remember when I was in 7th grade, there was a man who’d keep staring at me and following me around. One day he walked right up to me and gave me a letter which had nasty things written in it — I was scared and came home crying. My father was there — he immediately asked me to take him where the guy was. He then confronted him and told me to slap him hard. So that’s how I grew up — brave and unfazed.
But, her life hit a bump when she met her to-be husband:
When it was time for me to get married, my parents introduced me to this guy. At first he seemed great, but things changed with time. As we got closer, I realised that he was extremely condescending and judgemental. One of the first things he was curious about, was my virginity. I also had two tattoos, so he’d pass remarks like, ‘Girls from good houses don’t get tattooed’. I kept letting things go because I didn’t want my parents to take the stress of my future.
So I even agreed to get engaged, because it made my parents happy. But the last straw came when one night, I went to a pub with a friend. I had no network there, and he couldn’t get through to me, so he called my mother at 11 PM and started telling her things like, ‘Your daughter is a whore who’s slept around and should be raped publicly.’ When I got to know this, I was devastated.
Realizing she had to stand for herself and can’t be with a misogynist man, she called off the engagement:
The next day, I called off the engagement. I didn’t care what society would think. I couldn’t live my life with someone like him. I didn’t know if my parents would understand, but they supported me completely. Even when the guy came to apologize — my dad told him that he’d rather not get me married, then have him as my husband.
Expressing gratitude towards her parents for raising her as a strong woman, she mentioned:
That day I felt so empowered. Because I know we live in a society where most women suffer in silence within the four walls of their home. I just wish every girl has parents like mine. Who don’t tell her to change the way she dresses, who don’t tell her to keep her head down and walk away, who don’t let her take both physical and emotional abuse from their partners. But who teach their daughters to stand up, be strong and slap their bully right in the face.”
At IFORHER, we are in awe of this woman and her parents as they are the role models our society needs. We hope many more will seek inspiration from her parents and would raise their daughters to be brave rather than sanskaari.