Doesn’t matter if you are a wife, daughter, mother or a sister, when it comes to sacrifices our society always expect women to lead the show! Since our birth, we are told to make sacrifices for our brothers, parents, grandparents, and everyone else!
I was told to take up a course that I didn’t like because my parents could have saved money for my brother’s doctor degree! While I wanted to study more, I was told to marry because my father wanted to be free of his responsibility. While I wanted to work, my husband wanted me to quit job so that his parents and our kids are taken care! Since my childhood, I am on the constant journey of making sacrifices one after the other.
But that’s not just my story. In India, women may not have opportunities to create a life of her dreams, but one area where they have amble opportunities is to make sacrifices. Indian women seem to have a monopoly on making sacrifices for the family and society, in general.
But, it’s not just society that expects women to sacrifice. Even we, women ourselves, take pride in making sacrifices for the family. We not only take pride but also shame those who don’t sacrifice themselves for the sake of family. We label them as careless, selfish, self-centred, unsanskaari!
And, the endless quest to make sacrifices for others leaves most of the women empty, disappointed, angry and shattered. While they make themselves available for everyone, it is heart-breaking how no one stands for them! They struggle with their pain alone, while making sure they heal wounds of others!
Making sacrifices isn’t bad. But giving up on ourselves so much that we rob ourselves of happiness and dreams is not good for anyone. Can an empty glass quench someone’s thirst? That’s the reason why women need to stop being the CSO – Chief Sacrificing Officer.
Wish someone could tell women that making sacrifices for your family isn’t a competition! It is okay to grab onto that last slice of pizza sometimes. Wish someone could tell them that sacrificing yourself for someone you love isn’t the ultimate way to let them know you care! Wish someone could tell them that they don’t have to burn themselves to keep others warm! Wish someone could tell them that they don’t need to light themselves, just so they can bring brightness in others’ lives!
Dear society, please stop raising women to be selfless care givers; stop raising them to be people-pleasers; stop encouraging them to make endless sacrifices; stop setting them up for a lifetime of compromises.
Rather raise women to be assertive who not only sacrifice but seek others to sacrifice too; Raise women to stand for themselves; for their dreams; for their achievements; make them learn how to say ‘NO’; Raise them to refuse to be treated like a doormat or a punching bag who always needs to be at the receiving end! Stop raising them to put others’ needs and demands first. Rather teach them to stand for their own!
Dear Society, people whom we love aren’t entitled to our share of achievements, love, food, and life. Just because we are born in their families or married into their families don’t give them the right to deprive us of our happiness and dreams!
We all make sacrifices for the ones we love, but what we forget is to when to stop and where to draw the line? Our society has brainwashed us to believe that making sacrifices make us good daughters, sisters, wives, or mothers!
Dear society, we don’t want to become a Chief Sacrificing Officer! We want to live as you let men live! We also want to live life of our dreams! While you make women bear the complete burden of household sacrifices, you let men enjoy their lives the way they want! It’s high time that we build an equal marriage! It’s high time, women resign from the position of Chief Sacrificing Officer and earn their right to live as they always deserved!