I know you would label me as a failure because as per your expectation women’s purpose in life is to prioritize her family, husband & kids over herself.
You don’t take a moment to label a mom as “bad mom” – if she prioritizes herself over her kids. You don’t take a moment to label a wife as “bad wife” – if she prioritizes herself over her husband.
But sadly, when it comes to treating our women as a priority – society doesn’t have any sort of standards and expectations.
From morning till the last call of the night, women-run through every corner of the house to check if everything is in order.
From making the morning tea for the family members as soon as she wakes up to tuck the kids in the night, no matter how exhausted she is, she manages to give a part of her to every member of the family, without any complaint.
And when she signs off for the day, the last glass of water which she drinks is also brought by her. In case someone else manages to bring it up for her, it is treated as a great gesture!
But what is even worse is that she herself feels guilty if she doesn’t put others before herself.
When she closes her eyes and suddenly remembers that she forgot to put the milk in the fridge, she looks at her husband and thinks twice before asking him to do that.
If he agrees, she goes on a guilt trip because she disturbed her husband’s sound sleep. If he disagrees, she gets up exhausted, goes into the kitchen, and does the chore.
That exhaustion or the guilt that she feels is the result of ’emotional labor’ that has burdened our women.
As a society, we expect women to be angels who are just beyond perfections with no flaws or shortcomings. Our unending expectations make them feel exhausted but they hardly complain.
Yes, women can do anything and everything but why are they expected to?
Ask any woman about her priority list, and it would be full of what her husband wants, what her kids want, what her parents want. But, she hardly takes a moment to think about how she forgot to put herself on the priority list.
Dear society, I want to ask when would you stop treating women as second class citizens.
Why the rules are so different for our women!
Why is it so – when a woman does anything for the family – it is her duty or as you say Kartavya. But when husband or kids do something for her – it is either help or surprise.
Why is it so – when a husband cooks the breakfast and serves it in bed to his wife, we make him a hero and call him supportive? While a woman strives hard to do things for her family round the clock – cooking, laundry, sweeping and much more – and we hardly even appreciate her.
Stop raising your girls to serve others!
Stop telling her to prioritize others’ wishes over her own!
Stop making her believe that her life purpose is to be selfless – be it as a daughter, wife, or mother!
Otherwise, she will keep sacrificing herself throughout her life, finding herself standing alone with no one to sacrifice for her!
I know, being a woman is a blessing but I wonder – “Why doesn’t she feel blessed?”
Women fight their own battles alone while turning up as saviors for others. It’s a high time society stands up to its women and let them learn how to live for themselves first and then for others.
A humble request to our readers:
IFORHER’s Open letters series capture articles contributed by our community members’ with the objective to share their deepest feelings with the community. If you can relate to them, please don’t forget to drop a message for the writer.
And if you don’t please don’t judge them. We all go through different struggles in life. Just because we don’t have that struggle doesn’t mean their struggle isn’t real.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of I for Her. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, IforHer does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.