Even though we are living in the 21st century, it is heartbreaking how the practice of dowry is still so prevalent. Though with time, the wedding gifts or ‘wedding budget’ that the bride’s family has to incur might have replaced the old concept of dowry. But the practice itself is very much still prevalent.
What is even more disappointing is the fact how this practice is even prevalent among educated and affluent families.
Recently, a thread on Reddit spoke about one such incident. In the thread, the Redditor u/gigibuffoon narrates how an Indian man studying in the US and making a 6-figure salary asked for dowry. He even decided not to marry an accomplished and good looking woman in the absence of dowry.
The shameless greedy man reasoned, “what will the society think if I settled for less than a house? I’m this successful. The minimum I should be given is a decent house.”
In the thread titled, Dear Indian men, please teach your friends to say no to dowry, the Redditor mentioned:
“Please! Please! Please say no to dowry even if your mother and father say that the society demands it or that it is “tradition” or whatever other BS reasons they give. The generation before our parents took dowry openly and our parents’ generation did it on the sly (calling it gifts and such). Let us be the generation that eradicates it. Let us be the generation that doesn’t expect the bride’s parents to pay for a lavish wedding or buy expensive “gifts” for the newly married couple. Our parents have worked hard to provide us education and opportunities… Let’s not ruin their retirement by putting them into debt for the sake of a large wedding party.”
Sharing the details of the incident, the Redditor mentioned:
“A friend of mine had been looking for a bride… Typical arranged marriage stuff… Shaadi.com, Bharatmatrimony.com, parents friends and relatives, etc., Eventually, he liked a girl… She was pretty, well educated, had a job and was willing to relocate to the US to be with this guy… And then, the “negotiations” started…
After a lot of back and forth, the negotiations broke down because the bride’s parents weren’t ready to “write” their house over to the groom’s name which was the groom’s demand, although the bride was an only daughter and would eventually inherit the house…
Mind you, this guy studied engineering with me in a big city, worked in an MNC with me, went on to study MS in a decently reputed American University and now works for one of the larger American firms, easily making six figures.”
But what even more disgusting is this man’s justification behind asking dowry. The Redditor confronted him but was shocked to hear this shameless man’s reply. While further sharing the details, the Redditor mentioned:
“When I discussed this with him and said why the house we so important, he said “what will the society think if I settled for less than a house? I’m this successful. The minimum I should be given is a decent house”. I tried talking him out of it but it was useless and he ended up not marrying that girl, which turned out to be a blessing for that girl.
After another 3-4 years of frustrating search, he eventually married a girl who was a lot less accomplished or pretty than the previous girl because by this time he’d become older and had to “settle” and often complains about the fact that his wife is nowhere near as pretty as the previous girl but he’s “satisfied” that he got plenty of dowry…”
The Reddit user further shared how his approach towards women affected their friendship. He shared the story in the hope that others might be successful in veering their friends in the right direction.
This thread is just a reflection of the ugly reality that even educated men are asking for dowry from well-educated and independent women. It makes us wonder what’s the point of such education if they are still begging for money from their to-be wives’ parents. We wish no parent would ever entertain the idea to get daughters married to such greedy monsters. Because in the end, your daughter needs a life partner, not a money-hungry devil.