It breaks my heart how we bash women and their choices every time. Sometimes in the name of ‘Sanskaar and rituals’ and sometimes under the cover of modernity. I witnessed a similar kind of bashing on many Facebook pages or Facebook groups, where women are shamed for either keeping Karwa Chauth or not keeping it.
While reading the comments, one may encounter how both sides have strong views but, I fail to understand why we can’t live with women making different choices than us.
This post is addressed to people who judge women for following ritual and those who shame women for not following it. The woman who keeps the fast is called regressive and the one who doesn’t ‘unsanskaari (devoid of traditional values)’.
Born in a conservative family, I have many firsts under my belt. Being the first woman who attended post-graduate college, the first woman to go for love marriage; first woman to work after marriage, and much more… In the list of firsts, I am also the first woman, who doesn’t fast on Karwa Chauth. So, while I don’t judge my mother or mother-in-law or sisters or sisters-in-law for keeping it, they don’t judge me either.
While I don’t believe in it because it defies the scientific approach, other women in my family celebrate it as their day of pampering!
They love to put Mehendi, dress up, pamper themselves, attend get-togethers, play Tambola, and enjoy the gifts that they get from their in-laws and husband. Frankly, there is no sign of oppression what so ever.
On the other hand, some of them have adopted the middle ground, where they have tea and coffee in their Karwa Chauth to avoid migraines and that is also accepted by women in my family! Then there are some couples in my family – who keep it for each other. And, even that is also celebrated and accepted.
 I don’t practice any of these rituals. And, I know some of my friends, who want to but can’t because of the health issues – like migraine, body pain, etc. Though I don’t celebrate it, I make sure my sister-in-law and mother-in-law have a day of their pleasure.
Even my husband respects my choice and has not even once asked me to keep it.
This made me wonder, if my family, who have made so many transitions with time, can accept people choosing different ways to celebrate love and companionship, then why people on the internet have so many judgments for each other.
So many women are indulging in the conversation to prove each other wrong! Why?Â
While feminism is a concept to respect women’s choices then why can’t we just let them make their own! Why we expect women to confine to one form of the idea of feminism or modern women.
Last but not the least, I wonder, what great things we can achieve if the kind of passion that many netizens bring to shame women for making their respective choices about Karwachauth can put to use on other more pressing issues – women jobs, women safety, women harassment in streets and at home and much more!Â
Passing unsolicited judgments on Karwa Chauth is just another reminder of how our society tends to control women from living life as per her choices.
So, to all the judgy people out there:Â
Please keep your judgments to yourself. You don’t own us or our choices. We are here to live life on our own terms. Because in the end, we have to live with our choices and bear the consequences, not you! We keep fast or don’t keep fast is none of your business! And, if you can’t accept people making choices different than yours, then probably you are the problem!