We, women, are raised to burn like lamps to keep others warm;
We are told to sacrifice our happiness to make others happy;
We are raised to love and take care of everyone except one person – that’s our own self.
It is heart-breaking how, we, women are conditioned to lose ourselves in being someone’s wife, someone’s mother, or someone’s daughter. We are raised to be natural caregivers, who forget themselves to be there for others.
Rather than fighting for our own self, we take pride in sacrificing our own happiness, dreams, and individuality for others. We just don’t take pride, we also go to an extreme to shame other women, who ain’t. We label these women, who chose to live for themselves. as selfish or self-centered.
Throughout our lives, while we sacrifice ourselves for others, with the hope that one day our sacrifices will be at least recognized.
Without being bothered about our own existence, we keep trying to please people who consider us as burdens. We keep begging for their attention at the expense of our own self-respect and pride. And, sadly, we don’t hold any regrets in doing so. Because, we have been raised to be there for others, even if that means that the very same people stomp over our dignity and pride.
We want to go to any extreme to serve these people just because we love them. We are ready to pay any price to have them in our lives.
To all such beautiful souls, who have burnt themselves enough for others: Let’s stop that! Let’s stop depriving ourselves of the respect and love that we deserve! Let’s stop putting others over ourselves!
Let’s be our own lovers. Let’s adorn our self-respect. Let’s unlearn what society and our parents taught us.
No, women are not supposed to be selfless. No, we are not supposed to sacrifice ourselves for our husband and family. No, we are not supposed to suffer in silence just to maintain peace in the house. No, we are not the only ones who have to carry the burden of making all adjustments so that others can live happily.
It is important that we start loving ourselves before we love others. Because, every time we sacrifice ourselves for the people who don’t deserve us; don’t respect us; we devalue our own self. We let others treat us as doormats; we let others mistreat us!
It’s high time that we stop risking our dignity just to keep undeserving people in our lives. We need to make sure that people don’t take us for granted. While we are there for our husbands, in-laws, kids, we need to make sure they are there for us too!
While an unsupportive spouse or partner may be trying hard to shatter you, don’t let them. Don’t expect them to stand for you! Rather stand for yourself. Because they never will. They will always find a way to make you feel less about yourselves; they will find the countless flaws in you; they will rather ask you to suffer in silence.
They may tell you that they love you, but what they actually do is manipulate. They manipulate you because they are aware that you would do anything for keeping them happy; you would even sacrifice yourself and your dignity for them. Don’t let them manipulate you!
Loving yourself isn’t an easy task, especially if you have been raised in a patriarchal society like ours – where women are treated as burdens or paraya dhan. It may be difficult but it’s not impossible. But, we have to take our baby steps.