Even though it’s the 21st century, our society still treats Marriage as the most important milestone in our lives.
It doesn’t matter how much educated you are or how much financially independent you have become, marriage is what defines how successful a woman would be perceived by society.
Personally, I believe marriage is a beautiful institution that lays its foundation on equality and respect. But, like any 21st-century woman, what irks me is how society shamelessly promotes inequality in marriage.
When a girl reaches the so-called society’s marriageable age, people, especially the Rishtey Wali aunties, start giving their unwanted piece of advice to girls and their parents.
Beta shadi ki umar ho gyi hai thoda patli ho ja,
Beta ladke wale kya kahenge, thoda theek se baith,
Beta Naukri toh theek hai but ghar ka kam acche se seekh,
Ab gol rotian banana seekh le, akhir sasural wale kya kahenge, maa ne kya sikha k bheja hai?
We have often heard these words, haven’t we?
But why only the girls are held accountable for household chores – from cooking to washing clothes? Why are these chores not seen as a couple’s combined responsibility? Why Rishtey Wali Aunty doesn’t ask boys if they know how to cook?
Even when men perform some household chores, they feel they have done a favor to their wives.
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While we live in 2020 and believe in gender equality, yet most of us still expect that a girl should be doing all household chores. Shouldn’t it be a team effort? When our girls can work both at home and at the office, why can’t men?
But even if a man takes a step to respect the equality in the marriage, doesn’t mind stepping in to cook or to do laundry, the society tends to shame him or label him as ‘Joru ka Ghulam’.
Before you label me as a person, who sees cooking for her family as a sign of oppression, then let me tell you it’s not about cooking for a family that’s the problem. Rather it is the society’s unrealistic expectation that only women need to be responsible for domestic chores.
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While marrying, when we promise to be equal partners in everything. So, when women can fix the fused bulb, why can’t men cook the food for her? Why the equality that we pledge fail to be reflected in our homes and kitchens?
While we are sharing all our responsibilities, from earning money to paying bills, why can’t we share the household chores?
When a woman comes home from the office after spending long hours at the office, why is it fine for a man to relax in front of the TV but not for her? Why hold her solely responsible for cooking meals for the family? Why is she the only one making those festive meals and waking up early even on her holidays?
Even Divya Datta also captured the gender equality in her beautiful poem – “Tum ne kaha tha hum ek hain, to apne barabar kar do na“.Â
So, Dear Rishtey Wali Aunty, if you are planning to find a groom for me, please remember:
The way you’ve asked me if I can cook, ask him too!
Because I don’t want a prince charming. I want a life partner who knows how to treat me at par with him and with respect. Because without respect, love can’t stay for long.
