An open letter from our guest contributor shares an ugly reality of how even educated Indian families are letting their daughters suffer in an abusive marriage to protect the family’s honor.
The Burden Of Ghar Ki Izzat
We live in a society, where daughters and daughters-in-law are often expected to carry the burden of being ‘Ghar Ki Izzat’. Sadly the very same people who label her as ‘Ghar ki Izzat’ abuse & disrespect her. They are asked to sacrifice to protect the ‘Ghar ki Izzat’.
One can’t stop but wonder how our society prioritizes a non-living concept called ‘Ghar ki Izzat’ over their own very much alive daughter or daughter-in-law.Â
When Ghar Ki Izzat Stands For Her Own Dignity
Recently, when my close friend decided to move out of 6-year-long abusive and loveless marriage, her very well-to-do business family refused to support her. Rather they bombarded her with these regressive thoughts that made me doubt their education –Â
Log Kya Kahengey?
Ghar ki Izzat Ke Barein Mein To Soch!
Tumhein Padana Hi Humari Galti Thi!
Aajkal Ki Ladkiyon Ki Yahi Problem Hai Bilkul Bardast Karne Ki Himmat Hi Nahin Hai!
It broke my heart to see how to protect their shallow honor, my friend’s mother asked her to go back to the same people who disrespected and abused her. It shocks me how our society at large feels that the honor of family gets protected when they let their daughters suffer in silence. To let their daughters get beaten or tortured is a way for such families to protect their hollow pride.Â
Ghar Ki Izzat Is Much More Important Than Woman’s Pride
Izzat is an Urdu word which means Respect. It is heartbreaking how our patriarchal society made many believe that the so-called ‘Ghar Ki Izzat’ was so much more important than their daughter’s own pride. Whenever a female is willing to put up a fight for her respect for her dignity, she is blamed or disrespected or shamed for bringing dishonor to the family.
When a woman fighting for her dignity and right is labeled as ‘badatmeez‘ while the woman suffering in silence and bearing the abuse is called ‘sanskaari’, you know how regressive our society is.
ALSO READ:
Why Married Woman Becomes An Outsider At Her Parents’ House Aswell As At In-Laws’ Place
Open Letter To The In-Laws, Who Just Want An Educated Maid & Not A Daughter-In-Law
Hypocrisy Of Ghar Ki IzzatÂ
It is very important for us as a society to shed the hypocrisy and this misrepresented notion of hollow pride. Suffering in marriage should not be associated with family honor. The honor of the family shines when one refuses to suffer and raise a voice against oppression.
It is high time our society understands that a divorced daughter is better than a dead daughter. A daughter fighting for her life and dignity never ruins Ghar ki Izzat. Rather, she inspires many to fight for their rights against the social norms and hence, should be treated as family honor.
So next time when your daughter wants to stand against an abusive marriage, don’t send her back to her abusers. Please stop sacrificing your daughters’ happiness and dignity in name of fake pride.