Many Indian parents are striving hard to raise strong and independent girls. They make all the efforts to give their daughters the best education and treat them equally to their sons. But, when it comes to letting her live the life of an independent woman, many parents struggle.
Raising daughters as strong and independent women is one thing and letting them live life on their terms is another.
It is our hypocrisy that we want our daughters to believe themselves at par with boys but also expect them to obey their husbands and his family after marriage.
While on one hand, girls are allowed to choose a profession of their choice, they are not expected to be more ambitious or earn more than their husbands.
While they are allowed to speak their hearts out, they are not allowed to speak in front of their in-laws, even if they are wrong.
If society really wants to raise a strong and independent daughter, then it should follow the below thoughts.
#1: Your Daughter Is Not A Little Girl Anymore – Let Her Do The Thinking
Being a parent is never easy. But do not confuse your responsibility with that of undermining her thought process. You are there to support her through thick and thin, but don’t jump to take her decisions.
Avoid rescuing her every time she is struggling with a problem. Feeding her with the solutions will never make her an independent daughter. It might happen that she faces problems in the beginning but gradually she will overcome all the obstacles of life.
#2: When She Makes Choices That Society Doesn’t Like, Don’t Tell Her – She Is Ghar Ki Izzat & She Needs To Play By Society’s Rule
There would be times when she will be making decisions that society wouldn’t agree with. It could be taking a call on when to get married or what to wear or whom to get married or when to become a mother.
If she doesn’t want to get married by 28, please respect her decision.
If she doesn’t want to marry as per your choice, please respect her decision.
Don’t suppress her by telling her she is your Ghar ki izzat and hence, needs to follow your will or society’s patriarchal rules.
#3: When She Demands Equality In Marriage, Don’t Tell Her Shaadi Mein Aisa Hi Hota Hai
If she expects equality and respect in her marriage, don’t shut her down by telling her how Indian Shaadis are meant to be.
Don’t tell her that she couldn’t expect her husband to cook or to do laundry or to take care of kids when she is out on an official trip. Don’t tell her that she couldn’t be as ambitious as her husband because she is a girl.
When she demands her husband to be held equally responsible for domestic chores, don’t snub her by saying ‘Ghar ka kaam toh ladkiyon ka hota hai‘!
#4: When She Wants To Stand Up For Herself, Don’t Shut Her By Saying Ladkiyon Ko Thoda Bardast Karna Seekhna Chahiye
When she complains about the abuse – be it emotional or physical in marriage – don’t hush her and tell her to stay quiet. Don’t tell her that she is over-reacting and being unrealistic.
Don’t tell her to stay quiet and suffer in silence. Because ‘time sab kuch theek kar deta hai!’