Our society suffers from a ghastly disease and that disease is nothing else than Raja Babu Syndrome. The syndrome stems from the utterly distasteful obsession of our Indian society with the boy child. This obsession is the core culprit why women – young, old, housewife, working – are struggling across the country.
This syndrome is quite evident even in the educated and well to do households of our country. Desi moms never hesitate to call their daughters as young as ten, to make and serve tea to the guests, while our sons free to go out and play with the visitors. While daughters are raised to serve others, sons are often raised as pampered and entitled.
Sadly these pampered boys turn into entitled husbands, who believe the women exist to serve them. As their mother and sisters served them throughout their lives, they expect their wives to serve them too!
Here’s where things get complicated. Our society suffering from Raja Beta Syndrome doesn’t only expect women to serve men, they also expect them to tolerate the abuse. We let our sons be the way they want, do things that they want to do. But, when it comes to our daughters-in-law, we have a huge list of restrictions – what she can wear, what she should do, how she should do!
While our Raja Beta gets up at 9 am, we have an issue if our daughter-in-law does the same. While our Raja Beta can answer us back, we have issues if our daughter-in-law does it!
And God forbid, if the Raja Beta picks up his own plate or does some household work. All hell breaks loose then.“Mere bete se ghar ka kaam karwa rahi hai. Yahi din dekhna reh gaya tha” followed by a death stare is the mildest version of the reaction.
In some cases, the so-called progressive parents, leave no chance to glorify their sons for the slightest work they do in the house.“Your daughter is so lucky that she married our son! Otherwise, which husband helps wife in the kitchen!”
Worst is when our society expects women to tolerate the abuse in silence. Be it a housewife or a working woman, many women are the silent victims who have been the punching bag because their husband wanted to let out his anger or frustration or any sort of stress to them.
And, while the mothers and fathers of these sons, despite themselves having a daughter too, feel no empathy for these women. They just tend to ignore the issues that their bahus suffer because of their son! Not just in-laws, but girls’ parents are so much okay with Raja Beta Syndrome, that they also support the husband – “Aisa toh Shaadi mein chaalta hi rehta hai!” “Thodi bardast karne ki aadat daalo”
While we are empowering our daughters, it’s time to cure our Raja Beta Syndrome.
As many parents are raising their daughters to be empowered and independent, it is equally important for us to get rid of “Raja Beta Syndrome”. It’s high time we teach our sons that men and women are equal and it’s don’t women DNA is preloaded with the software to serve men!
It’s high time that we change! If not us then who, If not now then when!