Our community member writes an open letter to the society, which makes women feel lesser if they have given birth to a girl. It is heartbreaking how so many women are still facing this regressive mindset in the 21st century.
Here’s the open letter.
In a patriarchal society, where sons are still seen as a prized possession and daughters as liability, it is heartbreaking how mothers of daughters are made to feel less. They are treated as unfortunate souls, who were not able to crack the lottery of having a son.
But when you raised by strong and independent parents, it is hard to believe that still many women are being treated as second class citizens when they have daughters.
I never believed this still happens in the 21st century, till my own sister had to face this ugly truth.
My sister is a self-made woman. She completed her post-graduation from one of the best MBA colleges in India and is, now holding a senior position in one of the MNCs. But none of her achievements mattered when it came to the birth of her daughters. The harsh words of society not only took away her happiness but also made her feel lesser about herself. When she had her first baby girl, many relatives told her:
“Oh it’s a girl, don’t worry next time you will have a son!”
And, they did it without even realizing how sexist or regressive that was. I wondered how these people are still so regressive even after being so educated. But the story didn’t end here.
After 3 years of her first daughter, when she had another daughter, these shameless relatives took away all her happiness as they labeled her as Bechari. One of them said it to her mother-in-law:
“She had another daughter, bechari, what will she do now?”
With time, my sister has started ignoring these so-called members of our regressive society. She is in love with her daughters. And, the woman who has brought so much pride and happiness to her own parents, knows the gender never matters.
But here I am writing to that part of society, that labels daughters of the mother as Bechari or weak or unfortunate. I want to tell the society that they are not Becharis rather they are the strongest.
In a society, where rape culture is so prevalent, these mothers may live under the constant fear of losing their daughters to sex-deprived monsters. But still they don’t let that fear control them. In return for this fear, they raise strong daughters. They teach them how to raise their voices if they have been harassed on the streets. They teach them there is no shame in fighting for their own rights.
They teach them how to fight for their dignity.
In a society, where every other person tells your daughter to give up on her dreams and get married, these mothers are raising them to take a stand for their dreams. They are teaching them to be independent and strong.
They are not raising them to be just someone’s wife or a daughter-in-law. They are raising them to be much more.
In a society, where our patriarchal mindset, still makes some believe that the husband has the right to treat his wife as he wants. These mothers are making sure that they let her daughters know that a divorced daughter is better than an abused or unhappy daughter.
So dear society, please stop telling mothers of the daughter that they are ‘bechari‘ or helpless. They are the change agents who are raising strong daughters to make the world a better place for women.
It’s a high time that society opens its eyes to their strength and celebrate their courage. Rather than letting making them feel any less.
P.S. Additionally, I want to clarify that I may have mentioned about how mothers contribute to raising strong daughters. But, that doesn’t mean fathers don’t. There are many fathers, who are relentlessly raising strong daughters. And, I adore them as much as I adore moms raising strong daughters.