We women are raised to be selfless!
No one could deny how society tends to raise women to be selfless. From the time we are born, we are told to prioritize other needs over ours. We are told to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our family at every step of our lives. We are expected to give love and care unconditionally to the family and make endless compromises to make others happy.
Society leaves no chance to frown upon us when we focus on ambition or happiness.
It breaks our hearts to see how women are told they are selfish when they stand for themselves or their dreams or their happiness. Whenever we dare to make a choice that disturbs the patriarchal mindset, we are labeled as selfish and shamed to be a failure.
In a society, where the women are burdened with the unrealistic expectation of sacrificing her happiness for others, it isn’t surprising how regressive minds judge men and women differently.
When it comes to compromises, sacrifices, and adjustment; we tend to have more expectations from women than men.
When we stand for ourselves, we are selfish; but when men stand for themselves, they are strong;
When we prioritize our career, we are self-centered; but when men do they are driven!
More often than not, our self-respect is labeled as ego while men’s self-respect is labeled as pride!Â
It is heartbreaking how we are always told if we are not selfless, then we are selfish.
Our society uses selflessness as an instrument of oppression that keeps women from building a life of her dreams. It makes them feel guilty if they live life on their own terms. It refuses them the freedom to live as per their desires and hence stops them from realizing their true potentials. This is the reason why society doesn’t want its women to know that selfish and selfless are the two extremes of a scale.
Somewhere in between being selfless and selfish is Self-love & Self-care.
Self-love is an essential tool to develop self-respect. In a society, where selfless women are often forced to become other people’s emotional doormats, it is more important than ever that women need to indulge in self-love. We need to remember without taking care of our own needs first, we cannot effectively help others.
Our patriarchal society is terrified by self-loving women!
The self-loving women are fearless. They know their self-worth and hence tend to protect their dignity. They don’t believe in making endless compromises to satisfy someone else’s’ ego. They take responsibility for their own lives and fight for their own self-respect!
They not only refuse to be part of any patriarchal customs that demean the women but also tend to change it. They take care of others but don’t let others treat them like a doormat. Self-loving women don’t let society control their lives, bodies, and minds.
Dear Women, If you are not selfless that doesn’t mean you are selfish!
You can be self-loving. Many women of today are refusing to take pride in being selfless. They are honoring their needs and taking responsibility for their dreams. They are not shying away from putting themselves first. But, that doesn’t mean that they are ignoring other people’s needs.
Self-loving women are better at handling their relationships positively. Because when you tend to please people without any set boundaries, you tend to give much more than you should. And, more often than not, it leaves you with a broken heart and resentment.
It is important to give in a relationship but it is also crucial to receive.Â
Though society might shame these self-loving women, they hardly care about the labels. They are not affected when they are being called: selfish, greedy, calculative, self-absorbed, or cruel. They are so much in love with themselves, that they tend to ignore the voices that make them feel guilty of living life on their own terms.
