At Age 15: “Neha, stop arguing about equality with your father. We haven’t given you the best education so that you can disrespect your father! We haven’t paid for your education so that you can lecture us on how we treat you differently from your brother and don’t give you equal freedom!”
At Age 28:“Neha, why you have to answer back to my parents. Even if they said something rudely to you, can’t you stay quiet? They are elder to you, you need to show them respect! Even if they say something wrong, you don’t answer back. After all, they are your in-laws!”
At Age 32: “I have told you to quit your job for the sake of our kids. Why you have to create such a drama. At the end of the day, the mother has to take care of the kids. Don’t be so self-centered or selfish.”
Doesn’t matter if you are a daughter or a wife or a mother, at different stages of life you must have been told to stop fighting for yourself. Because, women’s fight for equality, respect, and dreams is more often than not seen as an act of disrespect. Whenever we raise our voice to be treated fairly at home or to seek respect from our in-laws or to take a stand against abusive husbands, we are told just one thing – Stop disrespecting elders!
But, how could you expect anything different from a society that expects its women to be a blind follower of its regressive thinking; that expects us to obey the patriarchal rules that serve them the best.
Since our childhood, we have been told to obey the instructions and norms followed in our family and society. Doesn’t matter how cruel these norms are, or how much they pull us down – we are expected to follow them.
In the desire to be perceived as obedient daughters or sanskaari bahus, many of us compromise on our self-respect without any concern.
We are so conditioned to swallow our pride that many of us don’t even feel anything wrong when we are being ill-treated. Many families raise their daughters to go to extremes to appease society and family. No wonder, why so many women give up on the life of dignity and chose to suffer in silence?
Sadly, the ones who stand against such ill-treatment receive so much hate from their loved ones. Rather than being applauded for their effort, they are shamed for disrespecting the norms and elders!
Argument That Woman Raise Against Society Is Not Disrespect
We are raised to believe that it is our duty to respect others. If we ever gather the courage to indulge in an argument, then that’s the sign of disobedience. Doesn’t matter how well-crafted your argument is or how well-informed you are, presenting different views than our elders more often than not seen as an act of disrespect.
Doesn’t matter if you are having an argument for enrolling in a better course or for not giving up on your career, or not following a regressive tradition, you always hear one thing – Don’t disrespect elders!
Our Endless Battles Against Patriarchal Society
In our patriarchal society, the woman has to fight endless battles. From fighting for education to independence to being able to work after marriage and kids, the women’s fights are countless.
But, one fight that every woman has to fight on daily basis is the fight for our dignity and self-respect! Many of us have to fight on daily basis for our self-respect against the toxic society that scrutinizes our every act and leaves no chance to abuse us – physically, emotionally, or sexually!
Every woman has the right to stand for their self-respect. We have the right to see ourselves succeed in life. We have the right to see ourselves happy.
It is high time that you understand that our act of defending our self-respect is not the act of disrespect; rather self-love. You may not be used to women raising voices for themselves. But, soon you will be. The change has begun.
Women are standing for our right to education, we are fighting against toxic culture; we are taking a stand against exploitation in an abusive marriage! While women are standing for their rights and equality at home and outside, it is the right time, when society stands for them, with them!