“Nowadays women are in a better situation than our times” Our community member shares why society needs to stop telling women of today that they are better off than their earlier generations. Here’s the hard-hitting post:
“We couldn’t be in front of men or elders without ”ghoonghat”, and now, you don’t even have to wear saree. I’m an open-minded mother-in-law!you’re fortunate to live in this era!”
“You’re so lucky! Your in-laws ”allow” you to work, ”permit” you to go out with your friends occasionally, take care of your child (their grandchild) when you go to work”
“Your mother-in-law wears kurtis and suits, not saree. She’s “open-minded”! You must have done some good karma! She would ”allow” you to wear jeans!”
“Your husband (helps you) in some of the household chores, you don’t have anything to complain about! You’re privileged to have such a husband!”
And the familiar list of ”luckiness” goes on…But, have you ever heard a man called “lucky” for “khatiradari” by his in-laws even in this century?
“You’re so lucky, bro! You can wear shorts in front of your in-laws! They ”allow” you!”
”Wow, man! Your in-laws are kind and generous, they took care of your pregnant wife, and helped her to raise your child(their grandchild)! You’re the privileged one!”
”I feel so jealous of you man! Your in-laws treat you so special when you visit them!
”Your wife gifted you a luxury watch on your birthday! You must have done good karma to have such a wife!”
There is no doubt that I (or my generation in general) have better rights of equality and more privileges than my mother (her generation ) and she had more than the previous one and so on.
And yet, a woman complains about unequal and unfair treatments than a man in any generation.
“Usko toh complaints karne ki aadat hai!”
It’s because a woman is “luckier”, “better treated”, “more privileged” than her previous generations.
Her freedom, respect, and rights of equality are constantly compared with previous generations, not with the freedom, respect, and rights given to men in the on-going generation. Women have been treated unequally for generations, despite positive changes over time. Expectations vs. Rights of women, especially for married women, were, are, and will (don’t know till when) unfair to that of men in any generation. *Patriarchy has caused negative effects on men too which should be discussed separately.*
A woman sees, listens to, and experiences the privileges given to men, the discrimination she faces routinely, and for which she feels agony and agitation, remains confused, overwhelmed, and low on self-esteem and often finds herself ”dependent”.
When she complains about the unfair treatment, she’s often lectured and shun by explaining how ”lucky” she is as compared to previous generations!
She also starts to believe in her “good fortune “ and pass on the same “fortune” to her peers as well as the next generation.
A woman certainly wants to feel ”lucky” or ”privileged” as a gratitude for the love, respect, security, and EQUAL rights she should receive, like a human being, in her present times. And it has to be irrespective of any generation or gender. So next time when someone tells you, you’re luckier than your mom, tell them, they’re lucky to live in such an unequal society, otherwise, they would have been slammed in an equal rights society!