No one can deny that ‘life is the greatest teacher of all’. From teaching us how to heal from heartbreaks, to how to handle our failures, to how to manage loss, life teaches us things that no classroom or seminar can teach.
But, have you ever wondered if there was some magical way that rather than learning those life lessons the harder way, you could have learnt them by avoiding all that pain. The only way to do that is to listen (and we mean really listen) to those who’ve been there and done that.
That’s the reason why women online on Reddit who are of age 30-years and above came together to shower pearls of wisdom on the younger generation of women. They shared life lessons they learnt the hard way, and advised younger women on how to deal with various circumstances – including savings, abusive relationships, and taking care of one’s health.
These inspiring motivational women sharesd some real eye-opener responses to the question – ‘Women in their 30s, what are the life lessons you’ve learned the hard way?’. Here are some of the best responses:
1. Don’t Be A Doormat
“You don’t owe shit to people. If you want to do something for someone do it, but not because you think you have to. Be nice, be kind, but don’t be a doormat. You’ll be happier for it.” ~ FrolleinMayhem
2. Don’t Depend On Your Partner Financially
“Always be financially independent. Even if your partner earns amazingly well, even if they say that what’s mine is yours etc. It’s always better to have your own money. Even if you are a SAHM or a housewife, do something to have a little nest egg.” ~ FailedIntrovert
3. Kids & Marriage Are Not Mandatory
“A) That maintaining a relationship, raising a kid while pursuing a career is a lot of work (almost requiring super human effort) B) Also, your partner could very well end up like a second kid. C) super hard to gauge how men turn out as fathers when you don’t have kids. Bottom line; personally I feel like I have to chose two of the three and I am picking the kid and my job;
Lesson learned: Truly understand why some of my friends never wanted children. Also understand why some of my friends don’t want to get married. I would have never understood the above if I didn’t go through what I did, and now I am the ultimate supporter of my friends choices :)” ~ 2021userf
4. Your Romantic Relationship Is Just Part Of Your Life… It Isn’t Everything
“That if you’re in a relationship, your significant other isn’t always the most important thing. That you should always learn to grow as your own person while you enjoy your life with them in it. That being with someone isn’t a definition, it’s an enhancement.
Being in love is wonderful, but losing yourself in the process and having to find out who you are as a person after the relationship ends is a tough road to travel. Don’t get me wrong, I love the lessons I’ve learned but I lost a lot of the progress of ME along the way.” ~ skittles1023
5. Stop Apologizing
“Nobody really wants to hear your excuses. Just say no/you can’t/you won’t and move on. No need for back stories. And stop always apologizing. It’s better for you and others. Always apologizing means you’re constantly berating yourself. It also means others have to now assuage your ego by responding about how it’s okay or whatever. Learn to say thank you instead.” ~ animatedariel
6. Stop Letting Society Push You To Have Kids
“Not having kids is the best. Stop letting people tell you that your life will somehow be less fulfilled if you don’t have them.” ~ Booblesnoot2202
7. Being Selfish Isn’t A Bad Thing
“Being selfish is not a bad thing. Take care of yourself. Prioritise yourself. Spend some time getting to know yourself.” ~ Watto_007
8. Pay Your Own Bills – ALWAYS
“I’ve always worked. Since I was in my teens. I married someone who made much more than me and though I continued to work, I adopted a life that was dependent on his income. We divorced. My lesson to anyone is, live the life you can afford on your own. Don’t let anyone pay your bills. I wouldn’t even suggest getting married because everything they finance is your liability and Vice versa. Never factor in anyone else’s income when you’re financing something, because one day you may lose that income. I love my life partner. He’s the best thing that’s came into my life. No reason to weigh finances on our love .” ~ HillTopTerrace
9. At Times, World Is Unfair
That people don’t get what they deserve. There is no magic karma that will give bad people punishment and good people rewards. You have to work to generate your own luck and good karma. When bad things happen to good people the only thing to do is keep working through it and finding your own solutions because the universe is not going to drop in to save the day. Ignore what other people have, resentment that bad people don’t get their just desserts leads nowhere. ~ aytayjay
10. Be With Someone Who Wants To Have Similar Lifestyle Like Yours
Money does matter when it comes to a mate. Choose someone who wants the same kind of life you want. If you can’t find that, you’ll have to earn it yourself. ~ Expert-Candy-3685
11. Save To Make Sure You Have Enough For Rainy Days
Always have an emergency fund to uproot your situation and start over if necessary. Nothing is worse than being trapped in an abusive live-in relationship, a terrible job with a bad boss because you can’t afford to leave. Prioritize this fund over any luxury you are tempted to buy.
Spend less time on social media and more time face to face listening and talking with people and experiencing new environments. Don’t get stuck in a limited routines that don’t let you grow. Social skills are a muscle. Developing the tools to overcome social anxiety. Learning to successfully interact with others will feel good, it helps you make friends with people. ~ GiveMeSomethin
12. Set Boundaries To Let People Know How To Treat You
I’ve learned the hard way that you teach people how to treat you. Friends, lovers, family, employers… communicate your needs and boundaries to them, enforce those boundaries, and never accept abuse. ~ greentofu402