It is quite disappointing how many working married women are burdened with unfair expectations. In the attempt to manage the balance between their personal and professional life, most working married women struggle and find themselves helpless. Talking about their unsaid struggle of being a married working woman in India, many women share the ugly reality that many could easily relate to:
WFH with endless mother-in-law taunts & household chores
- “There is nothing wrong with my life. Everything is fine. I have been feeling very anxious for 2-3 months now. I work the second shift,12-9 PM, and live with my in-laws. We have a maid who takes care of utensils and cleaning but still, there is so much work at home. My MIL always keeps on taunting me about cleanliness and stuff. She doesn’t take my job that seriously and my job is also bad. I started at a new place 6 months back. Ever since I joined, I don’t feel like showing up to work (BTW, I am WFH). I am getting frustrated. I don’t get time for myself. Whenever I am free, I just sleep. No exercise, no sunlight. All I find myself doing is cooking food day and night because my in-laws are old and they have medical issues. So I need to look after them or work (which I don’t do much these days). I just don’t feel like it, seriously. IDK is it just me or is it normal?” – SplitPhysical
WFH is tougher on Indian married women than men:
- “WFH for women is tough. While my male colleagues don’t have to worry about their meals or kids, thanks to their wives or mothers; I have to cook and serve my husband, in-laws, and kids. I need to make sure my kids have attended the online classes along with work.” – Neha Sharma
At the end of the day, Indian working women have to get in the Kitchen:
- “I can say about working Indian women. They are really stressed! That is probably because no matter what at the end of the day and Indian women have to get in the kitchen to cook! And no matter how modern the family is, a majority of Indian women have to face this. The amount of responsibilities is comparatively high. The families are changing now, no doubt. But if we talk about the major chunk, it is still the same. Also, the work environment is not as healthy as it is in other countries.” – Shraddha Nyati
Depression because of managing office work with endless domestic chores
- “I am newly married for two months and depressed due to the workload, managing kitchen chores, waking up early. I’m literally cooking for 8 people and then getting to work from 1 pm to 10:30 pm. I take a break in the evening again to cook dinner. No sunlight, no exercise, no Me-Time. I don’t even get to know when my day passes in the room. I end up sleeping exhausted and depressed. Coming from an Indian marwadi family, I’m not allowed to go out and work. The sad part is that office is resuming and they have given me 3 months to convince my in-laws. I’m 100% sure I won’t even attempt as I was clearly told earlier that I cannot go out and work because LOG KYA KAHENGE! Also, I can’t afford the time to go out and work as I have to take care of the domestic work.” – Drajpro
ALSO READ: ‘Women Can’t Have It All’: Indra Nooyi Refuses To Sugarcoat Painful Sacrifices Women Make
When the interviewer focuses more on your Childbearing Plans than your capabilities
- “The moment an interviewer came to know I was 4 months pregnant, I kinda flunked the interview process at a $1bn startup. Now it seems to me that hiring managers think hard before recruiting a woman with kids.” – StraightSwim
- “I was asked about my childbearing plans. Humiliating, personal questions. Lots of personal stuff about my marriage and husband. Interviewers bash women who join a company just to get pregnant. Maybe this guy was born out of immaculate conception. This was not an exception, but the norm.” – buttercup987
How the life of a working mother changes after having kids
It’s always working moms. No one says working dads. A woman has to figure out working after marriage. Never a man. A working woman’s life changes after having a kid. Not so much a man’s (in terms of Job). Married women aren’t preferred for hiring due to possibility of pregnancy.
— Aditi (@Velvetyvirgo) February 17, 2021
Compromise & Some More Compromise
- “Managing work and family are two different fronts a working Indian woman needs to handle. Being a working mother, I realize the fact that I need to give proper attention to family needs as much as to work requirements. However, maintaining a balance never comes easy. It requires compromising on either front. When you compromise on work, your career gets hampered, and when you compromise on your family, you suffer from parent guilt. It is always better to maintain harmony between the professional and personal lives. I chose to work close to my home which saves crucial time that I used to spend travelling. Now I can work at a company where I can be productive and sustainable. This way I can devote time to my kids and my family.” – Sukirti Bansal
ALSO READ: Divya Dutta’s Poem ‘Tumne Kaha Tha Hum Ek Hi Hain, To Apne Barabar Kar Do Na’
Unfair and unequal treatment both at work and at the office
- “Women- married middle-class women in particular- often have to face the problem of double burden. They are expected to take care of the household chores and the domestic needs of the entire family, irrespective of whether they are working outside or not… In spite of the various laws passed in favour of equal pay for equal work, women in a lot of Indian companies are still not rewarded a salary at par with their male counterparts… Women have a much lesser job security and this might not be solely restricted to India… Then again, women in most parts of the country are not allowed flexible working hours because unfortunately, it is not considered ‘safe’ for them to venture out alone after its dark or apparently their character is questioned if they work late nights. This poses as a big problem for these women. A lot of jobs are still not considered ‘suitable’ for women which significantly lessens their career options.” – Dyuti Dutta
Being a woman in India is too time-consuming!
- “Working in an administrative position and having to look professional as a woman is incredibly time-consuming and expensive.” – dublthnk
Do let us know what you think!
