Anupama Singh, a mother of 5-year-old, shares her inspiring story of cracking UPSC civil examinations. Her story shows why moms don’t have to give up on their dreams.
It is heartbreaking how many women after motherhood, are made to feel guilty when they push themselves to pursue their dreams. More often than not, their friends and family make them feel guilty of not being a good mother if they give equal attention to their career goals as they give to their kids. Sadly only moms are subjected to this unfair treatment; not fathers. So many moms succumb to undue pressure and abandon their dreams.
Time and again, they tell themselves, “When my kids grow up, I will…”. The lack of support and encouragement leaves little room to aspire to anything more than what society expects them to be.
But 21st-century women are refusing to give up on their dreams just because they are either married or embarked on the journey of motherhood. One such role model is Anupama Singh, who has set an example that marriage is no bar to pursue one’s professional dreams.
On August 4, when the results of the Civil Services Examination 2019, conducted by Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) were declared, Anupama Singh’s happiness knew no bounds. According to a report by Hindustan Times, the 32-year-old from Patna, who is a doctor by profession, secured 90th rank.
“I have practiced at government hospitals for three years. In 2018, I decided to resign so that I can concentrate on my preparation.”
But Anupama’s journey to turn her dreams into reality has been anything but easy. Anupama Singh, who married in 2013, stayed away for 2 years form her 3-year-old son to prepare for the exam. Talking about her decision to part from her son and move to Delhi, she said,
“My son Anay was 3-year-old when I decided to move to Delhi for preparation. Parting away from my son was the most difficult job I had to do.”
But she wasn’t alone in this difficult yet fulfilling journey. Sharing how she was supported by her sister-in-law and husband, she mentioned:
“Study after marriage and kids is tougher than pre-marriage phase. There is a responsibility on one’s shoulder and emotional bond with kid. Unfortunately, my mother and father-in-law was no more, so my husband took care of my son in my absence. My sister-in-law moved to Ranchi specially to look after my son,”
After moving to Delhi in 2018, she enrolled herself in a private coaching institute. As she was living alone, she dedicated all her time to studying. Sharing the details of a difficult phase, Anupama mentioned:
“After classes, I used to read books, newspapers, magazines and prepare notes. I used to interact with my son over video call. I missed a phase of his childhood and his firsts activities. But instead of thinking to return leaving preparation halfway, I used to think that I should focus to achieve target soon for getting back home. Maybe this was the reason I cleared exam in the first attempt,”.
She returned home in September 2019 and her son, Anay is 5 years old now.
“My sacrifice paid off today. I can proudly share my UPSC-cracking-story with my son when he grows up,” she added.
Anupama Singh is a resident of Patna’s Kankarbhagh. She graduated in MBBS in gynecology from Patna Medical and College Hospital in 2011. Post which, she completed her Master of Surgery(MS) from Banaras Hindu University in 2014. But after working for 2 years in the medical field, Anupama realized how our healthcare system was broken. The need for transformation in the healthcare system pushed this doctor to take up civil services.
“As a doctor, I was treating patients but improving poor medical system was not in my hand. I wanted to make government medical facilities better and stronger for public and this thought triggered me to get in civil services,” she said.
At IFORHER, we are in awe of this inspiring woman who is a role model of many Indian women pursuing their dreams. We wonder what if she was also told that she couldn’t pursue her dreams or goals because she is a mother. Her inspiring story is just a reminder for many brave moms, to not succumb to the societal pressures and keep marching towards their dreams and goals.