It is heart-breaking how our patriarchal society raises daughters to be the epitome of sacrifice. Raised with the expectation to be a good daughter, good wife, and then a good mother, many women believe that it is our obligation to sacrifice our happiness for their families – sometimes for our parents, sometimes for our husband and sometimes for our kids.
If we tend to live our life on our terms, society labels us as a REBEL or selfish or unsanskari. It makes us wonder why women have been obligated to bear the burden of sacrifices?
While many Indian women succumbing to the pressure of being a good wife, daughter, or mother, there are some who are raising their voices on why women should defy social norms and focus on their own happiness. One such woman is Sushmita Sen. From time to time, Sushmita Sen has been vocal about women-related issues.
The ultimate beauty with brains has apparently mastered the art of being happy with her own self. She is strong, smart, sassy, independent, happy, and proud of her own self.
From time to time, she has shared how she defied social norms to live life on her own terms. On various occasions, she made it very clear that she won’t like to carry the burden of making sacrifices for her husband or kids or in general.
#1. Motherhood & Sacrifices
Sushmita Sen has always been opened up about her decision of embracing motherhood as a single parent through adoption at the age of 24. But, contrary to popular belief that mother should make sacrifices for her kids, here is Sushmita’s powerful take on why we shouldn’t sacrifice for our kids.
“The good thing is that I’ve never made any “sacrifices” for my children. Because when you put sacrifice as an element, you tend to let the child feel the pressure of “I did this for you”.
It’s so true. The time we start thinking on the lines of sacrifice, we start putting pressure on our kids, knowingly or unknowingly. As they grow up and demand their own space, we are quick to make them realize how much have we sacrificed for them.
“You just care about your friends, your girlfriend, or boyfriend or your spouse. But, what about your parents? Have you forgotten how much we sacrificed for you!”
It is sad how we make our kids indebted to us to ensure they prioritize our dreams over their own.
ALSO READ: Sushmita Sen’s Daughter Alisah’s Emotional Essay On Adoption Makes Internet Teary-Eyed
#2: On Sacrificing & Compromising
It is not just about making sacrifices for kids. Sushmita has also spoken about how she feels no one should believe too much in the concept of sacrificing. Because many of us don’t even fight the circumstances for our dreams. Talking about how the concept of sacrificing stop us from standing up for ourselves, she mentioned:
I don’t like the word “sacrifice” or “compromise”. Anyone who is too into this sacrificing concept has very low self-esteem because they want to be martyrs at the drop of the hat. No! Stand up for yourself!
So next time when you chose to sacrifice your dream, ask yourself: Is it the only option. Are you taking an easy way out?
#3: On Equal Marriage
She also mentioned how the concept of marriage is changing and how women are not ready to entertain the concept of sacrifices in marriage. While talking about how the institution of marriage is changing, she mentioned:
I don’t think the institution of marriage is dead. I think the whole concept of marriage has changed. Earlier the concept was that woman leaves her home, comes with her man, sacrifices, blah blah blah… and if she didn’t, it was “not good.” Today the concept of marriage is more equal. It’s a concept that’s hard for the more orthodox people to understand.
ALSO READ: Sushmita Sen & Partner, Rohman Shawl On Dividing Household Chores To Make Relationship Equal
At IFORHER, we couldn’t agree more with Sushmita on leading our lives without carrying the burden of sacrifices. The thought of sacrifices is neither healthy for ourselves nor for our dear and near ones, for whom we sacrifice. Because there are times when the burden of sacrifices become too heavy to carry. At that moment, when we tell people how much we sacrificed for them, we either break their hearts or ours.
ALSO READ: Sushmita Sen Quotes For Every Strong & Independent Woman, Who Wants To Live Life On Her Own Terms
So, it is good to remember that while we love our family, we should love ourselves too!