Adoption Was Not Charity But My Wisest Decision: Why We Need To Read Sushmita’s Powerful Words On Adoption

Sushmita Sen has inspired millions of men and women to live life on their own terms.

In our patriarchal society, where we are expected to follow certain set norms, Sushmita has always charted her own path. She never let the world dictate terms and survived every struggle with style and grace.

Though there multiple instances when Sushmita Sen inspired us, she set herself class apart from other celebrities when she decided to adopt at a young age of 24.

In a country, where many people still perceive adoption as a taboo or a sign of charity or helplessness, role models like Sushmita Sen must be celebrated.

During an event last year, Sushmita opened up about her decision of embracing motherhood as a single parent through adoption when she was all of 24. 

Adoption: Not An Act Of Charity

Sushmita shared a much refreshing take on adoption contrary to the regressive generalized view that adoption is an act of charity. While sharing how adoption for her was a matter of celebrating motherhood, she said:

“The wisest decision I made at the age of 24 was to become a mother. It stabilised my life. People think it was a great act of charity and wonderful action but it was self-preservation. It was me protecting myself.”

Mother Who Has Given Birth From Heart

Sushmita, who adopted Renee in 2000 while Alisah in 2010, further elaborated on her point. Sharing how adoption makes a woman a mother who has given birth from her heart, she mentioned:

“In the (case of) natural birth, mother and child connect through the umbilical cord but in adoption, the mother and the child are connected by this higher power, a connection that you cannot cut off. I have had the privilege of experiencing it twice. To become a mother who has given birth from the heart. I have not missed a day of feeling the joy of motherhood.”

(Also Read: Pune Single Mom Adopts Baby Girl With Heart Defect Is The Inspiration For Us)

How Sushmita Sen Revealed To Renne That She Was Adopted

In one of her interviews, she shared how she told Renne about the adoption through the game of opposites:

“We started playing Opposites like tall-short, etc and then I said adopted and biological,” Sushmita said, adding that she told Renee that “biological is boring.” She said: “I told her, ‘Biological is boring… everybody is born from somebody’s stomach. Why would you want that? You’re special because you’re born from the heart’.”

“Renee really loved to play the game and tell everyone, ‘You’re biological… oh, you’re boring’.”

(Also Read: 40-YO Single Mom Adopts An Intersex Child​ Who Struggled To Find Love)

When Sushmita Sen Offered To Help Renne In Finding Her Biological Parents

Sushmita is known for breaking multiple stereotypes. She broke another one on Renne’s 16th birthday when she told Renne that she could get all the details of her adoption from the court when she turns 18.

“I told her we don’t know if the court has the names of her biological parents’ but there is information in an envelope which is only rightfully hers after she turns 18. I didn’t want to give her the wrong information because I did not want her to go there and get her heart broken. I told her, ‘I’ll take you whenever you’re ready… we must go.’ She told me, ‘But why do you want me to go find out?’ I said that ‘You don’t have to but in case you want to I’ll help you seek out your biological parents’.” 

But Renne chose to pass. 

(Also Read: Mithun Chakraborty’s Unheard Story Of Adopting An Abandoned Baby From Garbage Bin)

Does Sushmita Have Any Regret Of Giving Up On Work After Adopting Alisah

How Sushmita has raised her two daughters show how responsible she has been on her journey of motherhood. Realizing the limitation of her profession, she put a pause on her acting career after she adopted her second daughter Alisah. But she holds no regret.

Sushmita Sen said that when she asked herself if she’d regret not doing films or if she’d regret choosing to do films instead of spending time with Alisah, her answer was clear.

“It was a no brainer for me… I did not sponsor a child, I became a mother,” she said. “With Renee, my role was more like a provider but with Alisah I wanted to do it differently.”

It is quite amazing how Sushmita’s bold steps have helped many to see the adoption process in much positive light. Many men and women are coming forward to consider adoption as a process to embark on the journey of parenthood. But we need more. 

(Also Read: Shilpa Shetty Opens Up About Miscarriages & How Adoption Didn’t Pan Out)

As a society, we need to celebrate the role models like Sushmita Sen, Shefali Jariwala, and many more, who are helping our society to change its outlook towards adoption. Hope many more will follow their lead.