It is heartbreaking how our society shames the process of adoption and refuse to accept the adopted child as a part of family. It takes a lot of courage to raise an adopted child, whom your family, especially your own wife refuse to accept. Here is the story of one such heroic father, who refuse to give up on his adopted daughter and fought against his own wife and family for her.
In the inspiring post of HoB, a daughter shared how her heroic father, who adopted her when she was barely 6-months old, took a stand for her against his own family.
“When after 6 years of marriage, my parents couldn’t conceive, they decided to adopt. They took a trip to Siliguri and there, when Papa saw the 6 months-old-me, he said, ‘That’s it, she’s my girl!’
Soon they adopted me and got me to Kolkata. Nani’s house welcomed me with open arms, but Papa’s side kept saying ‘Yeh hamara khoon nahi hai’. Papa never let this affect me. But there were some instances that got to me…
Once, when I was 7, I went for bhai dooj at my cousin’s place. After my elder sisters, when it was my turn, I put a tilak on my brothers’ foreheads. But they immediately erased it. They said ‘Yeh meri behen nahi hai’. I was too young to understand them; Papa took me home and broke all ties with them.
But a little after that, Mumma also started behaving strangely. She cared more about society than my feelings. At times, she’d even snap and say, ‘You’re not my daughter.’ But Papa snapped back ‘Bachhi ko ghar laake tum aisa kaise bol sakti ho.’
Still, Mumma and my relationship only deteriorated over the years. Somehow she was always disappointed in me- she hated that I was dark and that I was not topping my class. Later, in the 4th grade, I was diagnosed with Dyslexia. Again, Papa took over. It became our father-daughter bonding time where Papa would tell me about work and I’d go on about school. Then, we’d study together. Slowly, but surely, my grades got better. Papa made me believe that no dream is too big! And so, after school, when I told him I wanted to study fashion designing, he said, ‘You’ll excel in everything you do, just put your heart and soul into it!’ Then on, that became my mantra!
Fashion school was great- I was learning so much! I was even seeing someone. But when things went south, my mental health was in shambles. Papa had to come down to take me home. He helped me open up to him about my relationship, and planned random outings with me. He did everything in his power to get my mind off things. In fact, while most Indian parents consider issues related to mental health a taboo, Papa actually got me to seek therapy. Even though Mumma’s taunts never stopped, Papa’s support helped me turn a deaf ear to it.
Therapy did it’s work and within a year, my mental health improved.
Today, I am mentally stable, and working hard towards fulfilling my dream of becoming a designer. I’m also in a very healthy relationship with someone who supports and understands me. But the best relationship I share is with my Papa, my rock, my best friend! And while I’m still hoping for a day when things get better between me and Mumma, today I’m really grateful for that one day in Siliguri, when a man looked at a little girl and said, ‘That’s it. She’s my daughter!’ I believe in me because he believes in me.”
At IFORHER, we salute this heroic father, who stood like a rock next to his daughter. We hope many more would seek inspiration from him and fight for their kids against the toxic family members!