It is heartbreaking how even in the 21st century, women are struggling for respect and dignity. While we are raising strong and independent daughters, what we forgetting is to raise sons who respect them!
Recently, a single mom shared her heart-breaking life struggle of moving out of an abusive marriage with HoB. It is quite inspiring how she refused to suffer in silence and moved out of toxic marriage. She wants to raise a son in an environment where he realizes why every woman deserves respect.
Here’s her inspiring story of fighting an abusive marriage and raising her son to be a better man!
“I was 23 when I met him through an arranged marriage set up; he was a doctor. But what stood out for me was how chivalrous he was. So when my parents asked, ‘Do you like him?’ I smiled and said, ‘Yes!’ Papa told me, ‘Achhe log hai, you will be happy!’
The first 1 year of our marriage was blissful. It didn’t matter how late he got back from duty or how tired he was, he would always make an effort to talk to me about my day. We even started trying for a baby, and after I conceived, both the families were ecstatic!
But I noticed a shift in my husband’s attitude. If I had morning sickness and would be late in preparing breakfast, he’d say, ‘You aren’t the first person to get pregnant, stop acting like it.’ Then, one night he kicked me out of bed just because I left the lamp light on. And when I started to cry, he said, ‘Bahar jaake ro, mujhe sona hai!’
For the longest time I couldn’t comprehend his change in behaviour. So I decided to confront him. But the moment things got a little heated, he pushed me so hard that I fell. I was 5 months pregnant then!
Frustrated, I went to the terrace and decided to end my life. But that exact moment something miraculous happened– I felt my baby kick, for the very first time. At that moment, it hit me– my baby needed me to live. So I took a step back.
Soon after my baby shower, I left for my parent’s house for the delivery. But even then, the harassment didn’t end. This time it was my in-laws harassing my parents about the amount of gold my father was willing to give.
Even on the day of the delivery, when my husband refused to pay for the medical bills, my father had to step in. But despite all this, I agreed to go home with him because I hoped our baby boy would be able to save our marriage. But again, I was proved wrong.
3 months later, he dropped us off at my parents. When Papa spoke to him, he said, ‘If she wants to come back, she’ll have to stay with my parents. Main iske saath nahi rahunga!’ And he had the audacity to tell me, ‘Ab toh baby bhi ho gaya hai. Kahan jaogi?’ For me, that’s the day my marriage ended, and now I’m in the process of filing for divorce.
Today, I’m bringing up my son with my parent’s help. We celebrated his 1st birthday a few months ago and right after that, he said, ‘Maa’ for the very first time! We’ve created a small world for ourselves– just Maa and little Shranav and we’re happy here.
Still, there are people who say things like, ‘Adjust karna chahiye tha,’ or ‘You should go back to him, marta toh nahi tha!’ But I have stopped paying heed to them, because what I do, my son will do; he learns from me. And I’m not okay with raising him in such a toxic society. What we teach our boys matters and my son will grow up knowing that his mom, and every single woman out there, deserves to be respected.”
At IFORHER, we are in awe of this inspiring woman who is leaving no stone unturned in raising a man that our society needs! Hats off to every woman who is trying her level best to raise sons who respect every woman!
