Since time immemorial, we have heard the tales of the greatness of Indian mothers and their sacrifices. We have celebrated selfless motherhood so much that many in our generation are scared of embarking on the journey of motherhood.
The time pregnancy test turns positive, many women start wondering if they are even ready to take up the responsibility of motherhood. Because in our society, motherhood comes up with endless sacrifices and compromises for women.
Many of us have seen our mothers making endless sacrifices for kids. Whenever it comes to raising a child, automatically mother is held accountable for it. If kid hasn’t started speaking or if kid isn’t performing well in school or if kid is into bad company, the society doesn’t even take a second to raise fingers at mother.
It is heart-breaking how mothers are expected to bear the major burden of parenthood, fathers are held accountable for minimal contribution other than financial support.
“If mother won’t focus on kid, then who will?” “You are their mother. How could you prioritize your work over kids?” “Mothers are not selfish. You can’t think about yourself! You have to think about what is good for kids and then about the family and then about you!”
How many times have we heard these numerous conversations when society tells mom to sacrifice her dreams, her aspirations, her happiness for the sake of kids, husband and family?
Sadly, while mothers do so much for kids, they are not given any credit for their sacrifices. Rather they are told – this is what mothers do! This is the responsibility or duty of a mother to put her kids and family above herself!
But, what shocks me more often is the fact that women themselves are okay to sacrifice their dreams and happiness for kids. Even if they don’t want to, they tell themselves they have to! That happens because ever since childhood, we have raised our moms doing just that. Sacrificing themselves for the sake of others.
From eating last at the dinner table to compromising on her career, to staying awake with us till we study to cancelling her friends’ meetup for us, we have seen moms making endless sacrifices and compromises for us.
Haven’t we all seen moms, who compulsorily make their children drink a glass of milk every day because it is good for them, but never do it themselves? How many times have we seen our mothers buying new clothes for us, but never buying clothes for themselves! How many times, our mothers have asked us to focus on our health and do regular medical checkups but how many times have they focused on theirs?
It is heartbreaking how this conditioning of selflessness and endless sacrifices is passed down generation after generation. While making compromises and adjustments, we tend to forget that our daughters are watching us. They are looking at us and learning how when they grow they have to make endless compromises and adjustments for kids, family and husband. Sadly, this is the worst tradition that you can pass on to your daughter.
So dear mothers, please break this chain. Please stop making endless compromises and sacrifices. Your daughters are inheriting the same stereotypes, conditioning and stigmas that sucked happiness out of your life.
Let’s stop putting ourselves as last! Let’s stop indulging in the cycle of endless compromises! Let’s stop depriving ourselves of our dreams! Let’s raise better daughters, who are not raised with the mindset of putting themselves last! Let’s raise daughters to love themselves before they love anyone! Let’s raise daughters to not feel guilty for living life on their terms!
Last but not the least, let’s keep a check on our sacrifices. Because our daughters are watching us!