Motherhood is never easy. It is heartbreaking how society makes women feel excited, happy, and positive about motherhood. But, it is sad no one talks about the unheard stories of women undergoing struggle as they embark on the journey of motherhood. No one talks about postpartum depression or prepares mothers to seek help in case of need.
While we celebrate motherhood, we forget to remember the struggle of mothers. Some mothers on reddit came forward to share their struggles and feelings about motherhood. Contrary to the popular belief, a mother shared how she didn’t feel excited about motherhood. Thankfully, rather than being judged, she received a lot of love and support from other users, who are also working towards making things better.
While sharing her struggle, she mentioned:
“I love my daughter more than anything else in the world, but she just needs so much from me. I wasn’t ready for this, I had no idea how much of a drain it would be on me. My husband can see that I hate it and it pushes distance between us.”
While some came forward to speak about their own postpartum struggle, few shared how it is fine not to feel as excited as people expect us to be. Here are some of the best heart-touching responses:
“From one Mama to another, hugs. You can find your way through this! I went through PPD, too. Brutal shit. I think it would be a good time to revisit therapy. It took me a while to find someone who I could connect with (turned out to be a social worker) but once I did things began falling in place and I was not so depressed and hopeless. Best wishes to you and yours!” ~ TurtleBeansforAll
“I feel the same way sometimes. I think moms have it tougher than anyone. Sometimes we are not cut out to be a mom and we don’t find out until the kid is born. I agree with the previous poster, you and your hubby need to reconnect. Date nights are what saved me. You need to separate from the mom label and get back to the person you were. Which brings me to mommy guilt. FUCK THEM! You are not perfect, and I can guarantee that the mom’s you are comparing yourself to are not perfect either. Your kid is going to turn out just fine. She will probably need therapy at some point in her life, and your name will come up, but my kids will be there too. (I would love to be a fly on the wall for that!) And so will your neighbors kids, and your best friends ~ Dacin
“I think you should read the book raising happiness. It’s good and will give you a better perspective on taking care of yourself first. It may be that you’re not a great mom at this stage, but you don’t have to be. Maybe you’ll be that cool mom that’s her best friend when she’s older. Some parents are better at different stages. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” ~ Sweetpea122
“Take care of yourself. As long as your child’s needs are being met, there’s no shame in working to make yourself emotionally and mentally healthy. Many, many women experience what you’re feeling. Maybe you should try saving up for a short vacation, maybe an overnight at a nice hotel with your husband while your daughter stays with friends. Get away, relax, have fantastic sex. Everyone needs a break. And when you get back, remember that you can do this. It’s hard. It will always be hard. But, you are strong. You can care for the child and make her happy. And when she gets older, the work will lessen. Then, you can have lots of fun.” ~Moritani
“I have a 9-month-old baby girl and I love her very much. That being said, so far I hate being a mother, and it goes beyond post-partum and the occasional longing for my old life. I spend all day just waiting for her to nap or go to bed so I can have time for myself. I’ve read articles and this is more common than I thought, but I have no one to talk to about it. I’ve made comments to my husband and all he does is look at me with disappointment. I’m afraid to tell anyone else in my family, for fear of the negative judgement. I do get breaks once in a while and I would love to work part time again (I’m at stay at home mom currently), but haven’t found anything that fits.”
As these mothers come forward to support and express care for each other, we hope mothers struggling with motherhood will seek help and won’t shy away just because of society’s unfair judgments and expectations!