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IFORHER
Home > Parenting > Motherhood

Please Can We Stop Telling Women When To Have Babies? We’ve Had Enough!

by Guest Contributor
April 26, 2021

“Neha, when are you planning to have a baby? It’s been four years since you guys got married! Don’t you think it is the right time you start planning your family!”

The non-sensical intrusion of family members continues in my life as I complete four years of my marriage!  My family members believe my marriage is a failure. The reason: I completed four years, but I am still childless. I failed to give them the good news that they are waiting since the day I got married to my husband!

While these family members give me their unwanted suggestions on how to fulfill my purpose as a woman, I wonder who the hell gave them the permission to poke their nose in my personal matters. But this isn’t just my story! This is the reality of many 21st century women, who are trying hard to live life on their own terms. 

Society-stop-asking-women-when-are-you-giving-babies
Screengrab: Dil Dhadakne Do

Every Woman Is The Victim Of The Deadly Question Of “Good News”

For every woman, the unwelcoming suggestions of becoming a mother never seem to end. If you are newly-wed they will tell you – “Bas ab jaldi se good news de do!” If you are married for 2-3 years but without a kid, they will tell you – “You should give us good news now! It’s already been 2 years! Hope everything is fine? Did you see the doctor??” But, even if you have given them the good news, don’t think you are free. They will ask for the second round of news. Because as per them no family is complete without two kids!

It’s simply disgusting how conveniently people believe that they have the right to interfere in your personal life decisions. The whole concept of the family being complete only if we have kids gives society the right to ask women intrusive questions or make shameless comments on their sex life or reproductive health.

Women Are Only Complete With Kids

We live in a society that is obsessed with women giving birth to babies. It is heart-breaking how we, women, are only considered complete when we give birth. It is sad and disgusting how society forgets that we are living beings with our own dreams and desire. Shouldn’t we be free to make choices about our motherhood journey? Shouldn’t we be free to take a call when do we want to have kids or if we even want to have kids?

Constant Nagging Questions Affect Women’s Mental Health

It is heart-breaking how society’s constant intrusive questions regarding birthing a child affect a woman and her mental health. It induces stress, anxiety, depression, and fear among many women

Dear Society, We don’t owe you kids.

Stop putting us under the constant pressure of embarking on a journey of motherhood. Pregnancy should be a happy and exciting time, and a woman should become pregnant when she is ready! Your constant questioning and pestering not only ruins this experience but also puts us under so much unhealthy pressure. Please respect our priorities and choices.

For the last time, women are complete with or without kids. And, the only right age of motherhood is when a woman is physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to raise kids!

Do let us know what you think in the comments section.

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