Children tend to bring great joys, as well as many challenges. If you’re a mother feeling stressed, you’re not alone.
There is no deeper bond than that of mother and child. However, with the commitment to raise another human being from infancy to adulthood comes an additional load of stress.
While many of us may bear different levels of stress, no mother will deny the major reason behind the stress is the unrealistic expectation of society from a new mom.
Recently, Sarah Buckley Friedberg, a working mother, showed the courage to speak out on some of the unreasonable expectations that society has of working mothers, in a Facebook post.
In her heart-touching post, she shared the ugly truths about how our society doesn’t shy away from pressurizing mothers to be perfect at everything that they do.
She stressed on how society has an unrealistic expectation about moms to look perfect, to be perfect?
“Lose that baby weight and get back in shape, as quickly and as gracefully as possible.”
“Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep a night so you can work out, work, and care for your family. But also get up at 5 am to workout, unless you want to do it after your kids go to bed when you also need to clean the house and get life ready for the next day and you know, sleep.”
Another expectation that she shared about perfect funny homes:
“Maintain a clean, pinterest worthy house.”
“Take the Christmas lights down. Recycle. Be Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the birthday planner, the poop doula (seriously when will this end), the finder of lost things, the moderator of fights. Be fun. Be firm. Read books. Have dance parties.”
Oh, and yes society’s expectation about making sure moms do everything far, even beyond her capabilities, to raise healthy kids.
“Don’t forget the kids need healthy meals (and so do you! you are trying to lose that last 20 lbs before swim season right).”
“That requires meal planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep on the weekend. But also hang out with your kids on the weekend since during the week you only get to hang out with them when they are exhausted and angry that you made the wrong kind of spaghetti for dinner.”
And, definitely random people expecting you to spice up your marriage too?
“Date your spouse! It’s important to keep your relationship alive and fresh.”
“Try to go out 1-2 times a month. Good, kid free time. Hire a babysitter, they charge 22+ dollars an hour in your area so make sure to take out an extra mortgage and/or work another job to be able to afford this.”
But, then hey, you can’t bore people with your baby talks so people do expect you to have a view about the world too?
“Oh hey you should have a hobby too. It’s important to have “you time”.
“Also be well read, keep up with the latest pop culture and tv shows, and keep an eye on politics and be able to discuss at least one of the above on the small chance you are out in public and encounter another adult necessitating small talk. “
And, finally having an active social life is a must.
“Make sure to have friends. Social time is SO important.”
“Surely there is an hour or two left in the week after all of the working, appointments, exercising, cooking, scheduling, cleaning, imparting lifelong morals and learning on the kids, the usual. Maybe go out after the kids are down for a glass of wine and a bite to eat. Make it a healthy bite though. And you may regret that wine at your 5:30 am spin class.”
You can read the complete post here:
If you are a mom or know of a mom, you may know how these expectations are not just unreasonable but also add extra pressure on women.
