Some stories are so powerful that they take away all your pain, doubts, and negativity and leave you with so much positivity that you feel refreshed. Today, we are celebrating one such story of persistence, courage, and determination.
It is heartbreaking how our society treats women unfairly. But what makes us hopeful about the future are those brave souls who don’t let society break them. These brave souls stand against societal injustice to create a life of dignity not only for themselves but for their loved ones.
One such brave soul is a 49-year-old single mom, Jasbeer, who fought against an abusive husband and toxic marriage. She overcame society’s regressive thoughts about a single mother at every step of her life.
As per TBI, Jasbeer was only 26 years old, when she moved out of toxic marriage for the sake of her unborn triplet daughters. Jasbeer belonged to a community, where both divorce and the birth of a girl-child were severely looked down upon.
Raised As A Strong Independent Daughter
While growing up Jasbeer, a daughter of a farmer, was given all those opportunities that many girls in her district Gurdaspur in Punjab weren’t offered. Though girls were not allowed to study, Jasbeer’s parents encouraged her to pursue a BA from a local college. When she expressed her desire to become a nurse, her parents enrolled in a nursing course.
While sharing her progressive childhood, she mentioned:
“I have two sisters and one brother but I have never experienced any bias or discrimination. All of us were encouraged to think independently, which was very rare back in the day,”
But things took an ugly turn in 1995, when 26-year-old Jasbeer was married to an alcoholic and abusive husband. Realizing the reality within a few days, she learned the truth about her husband.
To save her family’s name, she chose to stay in a marriage. But mental and physical harassment was an everyday affair.
Though she kept hoping that things would improve, when she got pregnant she realized it may never happen:
“There has been not a single day when I did not cry in that house. The last straw was when they illegally found out the gender of my children during an ultrasound. I had two options – abortion or divorce,”
Recalling how the doctor gave her a suggestion to abort her triplets because they were girls, Jasbeer shared what exactly the doctor said to her:
“Abortion is not expensive. I am sure you can afford it, against the massive cost you will incur by raising three daughters. If you go ahead with this decision, you can maybe even save your marriage,”
But when three-month pregnant Jasbeer Kaur refused an abortion, her former husband tried to murder her.
He pushed her fingers into a live electric socket. And, at that moment, she decided to move out of her abusive marriage. But, thankfully, her parents and brother extended unconditional support to her.
“My mother said if she could raise daughters, then even I could do it. Even though I was aware that eventually, the burden would fall on me, I was happy to know my family had my back. They gave me the strength to fight and build a new life for my unborn babies.”
6 months later, she gave birth to triplets and walked out of an abusive marriage:
“They are the best thing that happened to me. I derived energy and strength just by holding them together. I knew life was going to get better,”
But her life journey wasn’t easy. Society kept taunting her for her failed marriage, but Jasbeer never gave up.
She single-handedly raised all her daughters — Pradeep, Sandeep, and Mandeep. And, now her triplets have completed their post-graduation and are financially independent.
While Mandeep has followed in her mother’s footsteps and became a nurse, Sandeep is a make-up artist and Pradeep is in the hotel management sector. Sharing words about her mother, her daughter Sandeep mentioned:
“All the credit goes to my lion-hearted mother who never imposed any restrictions on us. She aced both the roles of a mother and father. She never for once, let us feel that something was missing. She is our confidant and best friend,”
Jasbeer realized that it had never been easy to be a single mom. Initially, there were many days when she broke down:
“I was doing everything that usually men do, whether it was repairing an electronic item, changing light bulbs, or doing the heavy lifting chores. Even in terms of finances, I struggled in the initial days. I had to compromise on my daughters’ needs. I had to decide what was important – school fees or food. These tough decisions helped me get stronger,”
But, then she gathered her courage to move forward in life. Concluding how she sources her undying courage and determination, she mentioned:
“Main ek kisan ki beti hoon (I am a farmer’s daughter) so being internally strong comes naturally. We toil hard under the sun to provide food to people. If a farmer’s family can fight storms and droughts, we can do it. We believe in ourselves and stay firm always,”
At IFORHER, we are in awe of this inspiring mother and her daughters. The spirit which they fought against their life circumstances would give hope to many others to build a better future. We wish Jasbeer and her daughters a great inspiring future and beautiful life ahead.