It is heartbreaking how even in the 21st century, some men still feel they own their wives. They feel they have the ultimate authority on their wive’s life decisions – from what she can wear to what profession she could choose to what time she needs to come back home.
What is worse is the fact that these men feel they are being big-hearted if they give their wives permission to do things that they should be free to do in the first place.
Touching on the reality of unequal marriages, this woman shared a beautiful and heart-touching poem. In her poem, she talks about how Indian husbands have a faulty sense that they “own” their wives. Addressing an Indian husband, Anamika shares:
“Toh kuchh aisa hai ki, Dekho tum mana nahi karte,
Iska matlab yeh nahi ki maan jate ho,
Jab sari ke badle suit pahnane dete ho,
Aur yeh bolte ho ki hum to bade dilwale hai,
Ghunghat nahi nikaloge toh chalega, Par maang bhar lena,
Haath mein ek–ek chudiyanpahan lena,
Usse tumhara kya bigad jayega?
Badon ki chaar baat manlogi toh kya pahad tut jayega?”
But, what is heartbreaking is how men still expect their wives to take permission from their husbands.
“Aur phir tum apna pyaar kuchh aise jatate ho
ki mujhe mere hi aadhikaron ka dayra samjhate ho.
tum mujhe bahar jane dete ho, mujhe naukri karne dete ho,
dinner table par bolne ka haq bhi dete ho, mujhe mera naam banaane dete ho,
kabhi- kabhi der se bhi uthne dete ho, aur bas dete hi jate ho…..
toh kyonki saath zindgi bhar ka hai,aur main bhi adjust ho jaati hun,
aur adjust hoti hi chali jati hun, toh bas vahi par bas hum sab haar jate hai,
kyun ki kaun puchhe tum se ki aakhir dene wale tum hote kaun ho?
kaun puchhe tumse ki aakhir dene wale tum hote kaun ho?”
Here’s the complete inspiring poem, which will not only touch your heart but also make you question: Why some Indian husbands still believe that they control their wives’ lives.
At IFORHER, we are in awe of Anamika Joshi, who picked up such a burning topic and put her points in such a poetic and beautiful way. We hope Indian husbands would watch it and understand that their wives are not their properties. They are beings with their own dreams and aspirations.
Here are the complete lyrics.
Toh kuchh aisa hai ki, Dekho tum mana nahi karte,
Iska matlab yeh nahi ki maan jate ho,
Jab sari ke badle suit pahnane dete ho,
Aur yeh bolte ho ki hum to bade dilwale hai,
Ghunghat nahi nikaloge toh chalega, Par maang bhar lena,
Haath mein ek–ek chudiyanpahan lena,
Usse tumhara kya bigad jayega?
Badon ki chaar baat manlogi toh kya pahad tut jayega?
Aur phir tum apna pyaar kuchh aise jatate ho
Ki mujhe mere hi aadhikaron ka dayra samjhate ho.
Tum mujhe bahar jane dete ho, mujhe naukri karne dete ho,
Dinner table par bolne ka haq bhi dete ho, mujhe mera naam banaane dete ho,
Kabhi- kabhi der se bhi uthne dete ho, aur bas dete hi jate ho…..
Toh kyonki saath zindgi bhar ka hai,aur main bhi adjust ho jaati hun,
Aur adjust hoti hi chali jati hun, toh bas vahi par bas hum sab haar jate hai,
Kyun ki kaun puchhe tum se ki aakhir dene wale tum hote kaun ho?
Main jo de raha hun bas wahi tumahara hai,
Toh jo main hun, thi aur ho sakti hun uske panne toh phad hi dene chahiyen,
Kyonki jab mai palat ke dekhungi toh mai toh mai hongi hi nhi,
Mai toh voh hongi jo tumne mujhe banne diya,
Mai jisko suit nahi jisko skirt pasand hai,
Jo chudi ko zanzeer manti hai, jo rasmo ko nakarti hai,
Jisko aarti gane ki aadat nahi hai, But samman kaarth janti hai,
Usko tum apni duniya ke hisab ka path padaoege
Roz do column mein de sakne aur nahi de saknewale mere adhikar mujhe samjhaoge,
Aur khud ban jaoge bade dil wale, aur khud ban jaoge bade dil wale,
Kyonki tum ne mujhe woh diya jo bade naseebwalon ko milta hai
Jaise ki tum jo hafte mein ek baar nashta bana ke itrate ho,
Mere ghar walon ko phone karke mujhe jatate ho,
Aur agar kisi din kar lete ho ghar ki safai,
Toh maan hi lete ho ki, Best Husband ki trophy toh mil hi jaani chahiye,
Lekin tum toh voh avtaar ho jo 16 somwar ke baad bhi koi nahi paa sakta,
Lekin maine bhi koyi achhe karm kiye honge jo tum mujhe mil gaye,
Aur mai bhi isi braham mein reh jaungi ki mujhe itna dene wala mil gaya
Mai bhool jaungi ki yeh haq maine kabhi kisi ko diya hi nahi tha
Meri zanzeer ki takat teh karne wale tum nahi main khud thi,
Aur mere charon aur koi lakir thi hi nahi jo ab tum banane chale ho
Mere pankh ka size aur altitude tumahare dayere main nahi aata
Vaisa hi jaisa tumahara mere, agar aata hai to ekdusre ka saath,
Agar saath condition apply ke saath aata hai toh, woh saath nahi woh hisab kitab hai,
Aur maaf karna hisab kitab mei mai thodi kachhi hun, dil se abhi bhi bachhi hun,
Meri udaan hi meri pehchan hai, yeh mai skirt pehan ke bharu ya sari
Isse kaise jud gaya tumarha sammaan
Mujhe kisi aisi dor se mat bandna jiski pakad tumahare haath mein ho,
Balki aisi dor se bandhon jis mein hamari udaan mein ek dusre ka saath ho,
Aur yeh mai ek tarfa baat nahi kar rahi hun, yeh two way rasta hai,
Mere respect ke mayne mere kapde, rasmo, shringar se na jodna
Aur mere khana banana ki skills ko mere sanskaron se na jodna,
Yeh mere shaunk bhi ho sakte hai inko compulsory subject mat banana,
Baaki main sambhal lungi tum jayada mat pakana.