“Don’t cry. Crying makes the person weak and helpless. You need to be strong.”
“You are a grown-up, stop crying!”
“Stop crying like a girl”
“Boys, don’t cry!”
It is heartbreaking how our society paints the image of a superhero. Someone who doesn’t shed a single tear but smiles throughout tough times. Sadly, we have all been raised with the desire to be seen as that superhero.
What makes it sadder is how our society shames our boys or men when they shed a tear. As we fight against societal gender-based archaic rules, it is important than ever that our society stops raising men with the belief that shedding a tear is a sign of weakness.
To change society’s perspective about men shedding a tear, here’s an inspiring poem – Rakesh Tiwari’s Rona Seekho that he shared during India’s biggest Mental Health Festival at AIIMS.
While focusing on the importance of shedding a tear, he shared:
“Laazim nahi ki har baar aap muskrate rahe janab,
Jab dil bahut bhar aaye to dil bhar ke rona chaahiye,
Aur, aur har baar yeh hona kismat ke taaron ka roothana nahi hota,
Har baar roo dena himmat ka tootna nahi hota”
He further added how his friend Gaurav was one of the victims. He was made to believe that men don’t cry and crying makes men coward.
“Kyunki bade hone ka matlab tumne ye jaana ki joshe janun aur rawaani hoti hai,
Aur haan issi beech mein roo dena shayad kayrta ki nishani hoti hai,
Sach bataaun to shayad uska manna bhi kuch aaisa hi tha,
Gaurav mera bachhpan ka dost tha uska sochna bhi bilkul aisa hi tha”
Here’s the beautiful poem:
At IFORHER, we believe this heart-touching poem focuses on a critical conversation about men shedding tears. And how our parents and society should stop labeling crying as a sign of weakness. It is time we let our men be free to express their pain and emotions.
Here are the complete lyrics:
Ab tak toh tumne jeetney ke kayein manzar dekh liye honge,
Ab tak toh tumne aise kayee sare manzar apni aankhon mein bhar liye honge
Ab tak tumahare ander ke hunarbaaz ne sara jo hunar hai woh duniya ko dikha diya hoga,
Ab tak zamane ne ye falsafa bahut salike se tumhe sikhaa diya hoga
Ki ye zindagi maidain-e- jung hai, Is maiden-e-jung mein har dard ko jhelna sikhiye
Aur mardangi toh wahi hai dard jhelte jhelte haste-khelna sikhiye.
Ab main kahunga ki yaar yeh theek hai, yeh laajim hai par ek aur chalan bhi hona chahiye,
Laazim hai ki har kisi ko apni aankhon mein sapna salona chahiye,
Par zindagi woh dhaga hai jisko ashkon ki mala ko ashkon ke motiyo ko pirona chaahiye,
Laazim nahi ki har baar aap muskrate rahe janab,jab dil bahut bhar aaye to dil bhar ke rona chaahiye,
Aur, aur har baar yeh hona kismat ke taaron ka roothana nahi hota,
Har baar roo dena himmat ka tootna nahi hota,
Shayaed tu jo hai is shaher ki aabo hawa aur bheed se bus ek kona chahate ho ,
Koi dafa tum bus sab se aalag jaake bina vajh bevajh bus rona chahte ho,
Aur hum yeh kaise bhul gaye kyunki har baar jab aap rote ho,
To aaj dekha har gum jaise kal kam ho jataa hai,
Hasne se gum chhup jaata hai, rone se dil halka ho jaata hai,
Hum yeh kaise bhool gaye ki yeh woh hunar hai jo kudrat ne hame sikhaaya tha,
Hum duniya mein aa chuke hai, humne duniya ko rokar hi to bataya tha,
Maana ki woh amaa thi tumahari har nabaz ko jaan jaati
To tumahari bhookh aur tumahare dard ko tumahare rone se hi pehcchan jaati,
Aur, aur yeh kayi baar huya kabhi kisi tohfe ki wajah se, kabhi kisi khilone ki wajah se
School ki kitni hi chutiyan mili hai tumhe zindagi mein tumhe rone ke liye jaise,
Hanste hnaste roo dena ya rote-rote hans lena laga ki zindagi ke aasul yahi hain,
Aur issi liye shayad ab tum un dino ko yaad karke kahete ho ki yaar vo bachpane wale din nahi hain,
Kyunki bade hone ka matlab tumne ye jaana ki joshe janun aur rawaani hoti hai,
Aur haan issi beech mein roo dena shayad kayrta ki nishani hoti hai,
Sach bataaun to shayad uska manna bhi kuch aaisa hi tha,
Gaurav mera bachhpan ka dost tha uska sochna bhi bilkul aisa hi tha,
Kyunki use pahele se hi samjhaya gaya tha ki dekho tumhe zindagi ke chaain aur sakoon ko khona nahi hai,
Tum iss wirast ke waris ho tumhe apni didi ki tarha har waqt rona nahi hai,
Is liye shayad usne apni zindagi ke har asqk ko apne chashmon ke dayre mein palk jhapak kar lapetna seekh liya,
Gaurav ne bahut kam hi umer se apne ashkon ko lapetna seekh liya,
Riyasat se lekar wirasat kya tha jo usne khoya nahi,
Itna ki jab walid ka janaja bhi uthaya tab bhi Gaurav roya nahi,
Lekin ek baar yeh zindagi ke gamo ka khazana toh lootna hi tha,
Ek na ek din yeh zindagi ke raston mei gubar ko toh chutna hi tha,
Toh shayad woh bhi zindagi mein na rone ke silsale ko tod gaya,
Kabhi na rone wala Gaurav ek din sab ko rota chod gaya.
Aakhir kab tak hum zindagi ko isi, isi baat ko zindagi ki raah maan kar challenge,
Kab tak hum kahi bhi roo dene gunaah maan kar chalenge,
Kyunke, kyunke aajtak aisa koyi kalakar hi nahi hai,
Jisne zazbaaton se diya apne shabdon ko aakaar hi nhi hai,
Jisne zazbaat pighla kar nhi likhe, aisa toh koyi, kavi hi nhi tha,
Ek kavi ne hi kaha hai ki, viogi hi hoga pahela kavi ashko se kahi thi paheli kavita,
Toh, toh main bas yeh kahunga ke shayad hum aakele koyi manzil nahi paa sakenge,
Toh kisi ka hona seekh le, hum apni zindagi mein bhi woh sapna salona seekh le,
Kamyaabi aur muskrahat ke manjar shayad aur samajh aa jayenge,
Ek baar hum sabhi tabiyat se rona seekh le.