When I got married, I wanted to have a loving and caring relationship with you. But sadly the way things turned out, you made it clear that we will have a tense relationship like many other mother-daughter-in-law.
I wanted to love you but you made it so difficult for me to respect and love you. I know I wasn’t close enough to your expectation of a daughter-in-law. I don’t fit into that typical daughter-in-law category and I do know you hate me for being different.
While I was trying my level best to impress you and develop a cordial relationship, you left no chance to hate me. You hated me when your son spent more time with me. You hated me when your son sought advice on all the important life decisions – be it financial or personal.
Still, I felt there would be a day when I will enjoy a loving and caring relationship with you. But, hardly I knew that whatever I do, you will never accept me. Rather you would take extreme steps to ruin my marriage.
The moment when you forced your son to move out, expecting that he would leave me instead of moving away from you, I realized how much you hated me. You hated me so much that you weren’t ready to even include me in your life. You hated me so much that you never wanted to share your son with me. You may have hated me, not your son. When he made it very clear that he won’t leave his wife but leave the house; I realized the strength of my marriage.
Rather than ruining my marriage, you made it stronger. I know it wasn’t easy for him to leave the house in which he spent his whole childhood; I know it wasn’t easy for him to leave you and Papa behind; I know how much pain he was in when he took this decision.
But rather than introspecting how you forced your son into such a helpless condition, you started hating me even more. Though you held me accountable for his decision, I want to ask you: How could you not believe that your 34-year-old son has taken this decision on his own?
Every time, when you curse or threw tantrums at your son for ignoring you for his marriage, I want to tell you that he wasn’t ignoring you. He was just making me feel comfortable in our new house; With the heart of gold he has, he was making sure that I don’t feel lonely after leaving my family; He was making sure that I accept this house and family as my own; You have raised a gentleman, who you never valued.
But, sadly, while your son was making my life comfortable, you made sure that I never feel loved and accepted. You never left a chance to rub it in that it wasn’t my home. Whenever I had a suggestion, you either ignored me or insulted me. Every time, I had a different viewpoint than yours, you were quick to tell me – “If you have issues with this house rules, then you are free to go and live in a separate house.”
For a long time, I ignored it. But when you made it an everyday habit, you left us with no choice but to move out. And, now as we have almost completed 8 months in the new house, I want to tell you that your son misses you every day. I am sure you miss him too. That’s why you keep asking him to come and visit you at festivals. But, why you never ask him about me? Why you never ask him to get me along? Why you never call me?
My dear mother-in-law, Here’s the unsaid truth you never wanted to hear – Your son is away from you not because of me but because of you. I never wanted him to leave his parents because I know how difficult it is to leave your parents in such an old age.
Though you may be assuming that it is only your son, who is financially contributing to your comfortable stay, I want to tell you that I am contributing too. I also want you to have a comfortable life. Even though you hate me, I am still aware of my responsibilities. I don’t ask for an expensive vacation so that you and papa can have a good life standard.
I never wanted anything from you except respect. I never wanted any expensive gifts from you except that you care. I never wanted diamonds or gold jewelry but just love.
I don’t know what you expected out of a good, ideal, and sanskaari daughter-in-law. But, I want to tell you that I might be strong and independent but I will make sure that my husband and I will fulfill all the responsibilities that we have towards you.
After all, this, if you still choose to hate me, that’s up to you!