“Arey, Khushi, you didn’t make Dahi Kabab the way I told you! It’s different! It’s not soft. It’s crunchy! And, I told you to make Dhai Bhalle!” my mother yells from the dining room as I hurry into the kitchen!
“We hardly have any lunch for guests in this house without Dahi Bhalle!” my mother-in-law tells my dad while offering him snacks.
“Mummyji, papa likes dahi kabab bit crunchy so I made it as per his taste. And, he doesn’t like Dhai Bhalle so much!”, I politely tell my mother-in-law.
Meanwhile, my husband was showing my father his new phone, which cost us almost 1 Lakh. I knew it was overspending. And, realizing how financially calculative papa is, I knew he might not think it was the wisest decision to spend a Lakh on a small gadget like a phone! Though after buying the phone, my husband, Saahil also realized it was too expensive and he shouldn’t have bought it.
Without commenting on the phone, my father suggested Saahil save money and invest it wisely as were young. Sharing some suggestions, he mentioned:
“Beta, why don’t you invest in Mutual Funds? It’s a good financial opportunity. It’s always better to save more when you are young to make your old age a bit more comfortable.”, my father said to my husband in such a polite tone!
In the past as well, we have realized that Saahil isn’t great at financial planning. So, I have taken guidance from my father, who has been a retired banker as well. Neither Saahil nor I have any qualms in saying that my father is better than him when it comes to making financial decisions.
Given papa’s career background, Saahil is absolutely fine with it. He doesn’t see it as an insult. Rather, he believes that everyone has their own gifts. And, as per financial investments are concerned, he himself told me that he trusts papa more than himself.
But that day, when Papa suggested Saahil to invest in Mutual Funds, unfortunately, my mother-in-law was sitting right next to him. Being a narrow-minded person, she took it as an insult.
How being a father of a daughter, my father can show guts to suggest to her son what to do with his money!
Without even realizing that it wasn’t only her son’s money but also mine too, my mother-in-law said it in a rude tone:
“Bhai Sahab, you shouldn’t insult your son-in-law like this. My son is educated. He knows what he has to do with his money. You don’t tell him where he can spend, where he can’t. He isn’t asking you for money!
Don’t interfere in the couple’s personal matters. My son can take care of your daughter on his own! You don’t need to give him your lecture! “
While I was looking at Sahil and he was looking at his mom, my MIL further added:
“Anyhow, you have married your daughter, now you should let go of your daughter.
“Ab woh hamare ghar ki ho gai hai. Uspe ab aapka itna haq nahi hai zitna humara. Uski yahan ki problems ka solutions hum log dhoodn lenge. Aapko tension lene ki zarrorat nahin! Aap Dahi Kabab khayein”
(Now she belongs to our family. You don’t have right on her! We will find solutions to her problems. You don’t need to stress anymore. You just eat Dahi Kababs!)
My father was listening to all that my mother-in-law had to say. Once my mother-in-law was done, he said:
“Behenji, as a father you expect me to let go of my daughter; but as a mother of son you still want to control them. If you can guide my daughter how to cook why can’t I guide your son on how to make financial decisions. You are good at cooking and I am good at guiding people to make financial investments.”
Realizing that my father was absolutely right, my husband quickly jumped to apologize to my father. He said:
“Papa, don’t mind. I am sorry for what mummy said. Both Khushi and I totally trust your guidance. Even, I felt it should have invested money rather than spending money on gadgets. And, this isn’t just my money. I have myself asked Khushi to keep taking guidance from you on how we can invest for our future. It is Khushi’s money too! Please don’t mind what mummy just said!”
Though my father let it go, I wonder how my mother-in-law expected my father to let go of me after marriage but she still wants to be involved in our every decision. So, here’s to our hypocrite society:
“Stop asking parents of daughter to let go on their daughters after marriage. Married daughter doesn’t mean a dead daughter. She may have left the house but that doesn’t mean she is not their daughter. They were, they are, and they will remain her top priority! And, if someone has an issue with it, it’s their problem not hers!