Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law relationship is considered to be one of the most difficult ones. But Sharmila Tagore tells the world what could make it easier.
No one can deny that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is quite complex. While many struggle to make this relationship work, because of disheartening and harassment acts of one mistreating the other, there are a few who know the secret recipe for making it work.
One such inspiring Bahu-Saas duo is of Kareena Kapoor and Sharmila Tagore. This duo is inspiring not only daughters-in-law but also mothers-in-law across the country to turn this complex relation into the relationship of love and admiration by treating each other with mutual respect.
Recently when Sharmila ji appeared on Kareena’s radio show, What Women Want, she shared some beautiful insights about this complex relationship that we would like everyone to seek inspiration from.
Difference Between Daughter & Daughter-In-Law
When Kareena asked her mother-in-law Sharmilaji about the difference between a daughter and a daughter-in-law, no one could have imagined that she would answer such a complex question with a simplistic answer.
While sharing the difference between a daughter and a daughter-in-law, Sharmilaji said:
“A daughter is someone you have grown up with. So you know her temperament, you know what makes her angry and how to deal with that person. However, when you are meeting your daughter-in-law for the first time, she is already an adult and you don’t quite know what her temperament is like, so it takes time to gel. The new girl, your daughter-in-law, is coming to your house, so you need to welcome her and make her more comfortable.”
Though not many people think that way, we hope many would seek inspiration from Shamilaji’s adorable reply!
Recalling how difficult it is for the new bahus to adjust into a new place, she shares her own experience:
“I remember when I got married… I am a Bengali, I like my rice. And they were all roti-phulka eating people. I love my fish and Tiger hated fish. You know, that kind of adjustment. They seem very minor but they are not really, in the long run.”
If every mother-in-law would remember how difficult it is for a bride to adjust to a new home, then neither the daughters-in-law have to bear the burden of unfair expectations nor they have to feel stressed and depressed about the new phase of life.
Appreciating how daughter-in-law complete their sons
Blinded by motherly love, many mothers-in-law refuse to see the shortcomings of their son and engage in criticism more than appreciation of their daughters-in-law. But Sharmila ji objectively and honestly shared how Kareena completes her son Saif. Once in an interview with Firstpost, Sharmila ji shared,
“Kareena is good for him, more focused, very responsible. When we went to Bhopal, she made a list of the things she wanted to learn to grow as a person: to play the piano, to learn to cook, prune roses… he will never make a list, he is spontaneous, and sometimes, thus, irresponsible. He will tell my mother I am coming for dinner, and then she will call saying where is Saif, and I would have to say, ‘he’s on the plane, on his way to Bhopal’. She is also very loyal.
If I try to criticise him in her presence, she sweetly says, ‘Amma, it is not like that…’ And I think the fact that she is happy with her work and her life as it is now and is not hankering for more or isn’t overly ambitious makes her a great person. She praised and raved over Dirty Picture and Vidya Balan in it, which shows she is confident of herself.”
Inspiring daughter-in-law by letting them live life on their own terms
Though many mothers-in-law criticize their daughters-in-law for petty issues for wearing clothes of their choice or being career-oriented. Sharmilaji believes in ‘Live and Let live’.
Kareena once shared how her mother-in-law never stops her from wearing anything. In fact, she was the one, who had encouraged her to look as gorgeous as womanly possible. In an interview with the DNA, Kareena had shared how Sharmila ji inspired her to be career-oriented.
“For me, my mother-in-law will always be the eternal begum, a career-oriented woman who started a family, who ran the house, looked after three children but yet worked in the biggest commercial successes as well as some great serious cinema. She kind of always tried to balance everything. To me, she still is and still looks super gorgeous. Right from the beginning till now, I can’t take my eyes off her. I look up to her in every way, so for me, she will always be that.”
At I FOR HER, we wish more power to this beautiful duo and hope more women will seek inspiration from Sharmila ji to treat their bahus with the love and respect they deserve. We hope women would soon learn to build and appreciate other women, rather than tearing each other down.
In case you have been blessed by a supportive mother-in-law or daughter-in-law, then do share your story.