“Behenji, have you taught anything to your daughter. She doesn’t know how to respect her elders; She answers back to me and her father-in-law, even in front of other people. She raises her voice. She doesn’t know what to say and what not to say to our relatives; She offends them by talking to them rudely and harshly.”
My daughter’s mother-in-law unstoppably kept criticizing our daughter; how everything was wrong with her; how she didn’t have the right value system.
But rather than giving any explanation, our daughter stood silently in the corner of the house with no regret on her face. She held her head high and she stood tall.
I took a deep breath and asked my daughter’s mother-in-law to calm down so that we can discuss the issue like civilized people.
It was shocking how she could be so blind to our daughter’s qualities and could have the audacity to say that we haven’t taught anything to our daughter.
My daughter has been the youngest Vice President in her bank; she has been an intelligent student throughout her school and college and my daughter is exceptionally kind and a confident woman. And, being a mother to such a daughter is nothing less than pride.
After the mother-in-law calmed down, I took my daughter into another room and asked her what happened?
“Nothing mummy. Two weeks back, she came to know that Rajat and I don’t have a joint account. And, I take my own financial decisions, sometimes, even without telling Rajat!
So since then, she is just trying to find a reason to curse me, criticize me or fight me. I was just keeping my calm, but when she started yelling and started calling me names, I couldn’t take it any longer.
And, then when she started calling me characterless and how you guys haven’t taught me nothing, I retaliated. I told her to shut up because she has no right to insult me or my parents! Though Rajat tried a lot to calm her down but she made it a point to call you and shame me!”
At that moment, I was extremely happy that my husband and I have raised a strong and independent daughter. We have raised a woman, who not only respects everyone but also herself. She is someone who treats everyone equally and demands to be treated equally too!
Her strength and courage were the perfect answer to her in-law’s question on what we have taught to our daughter.
We taught our daughter how to be kind but if someone attempts to view your kindness as a weakness, don’t shy away from standing for yourself. Answer back; Retaliate because no one can use her as a punching bag as long as she doesn’t want them to. We taught her to not only give respect but demand it too!
And, to resolve the matter, I asked my daughter what she wants us to do? And, her answer was short and simple – “Nothing, Mummy!”
She further added,
“Mummy, Rajat and I will manage it. You have raised a strong daughter who can fight her own battles. You don’t have to worry about anything; And, I am sorry because of me, you had to hear such negative words.”
“No, Betaji. I am so proud of you! How you don’t need your parents to fight your battle of dignity and respect. I feel, we have done a great job in raising you!”
As we step out of the house, my husband asked me about Shweta and what she said. After sharing the details with him, I said,
“It is irony how Shweta’s mother-in-law thinks we haven’t taught our daughter anything; but the reality is how no one taught her how to treat a daughter-in-law like a human; how to respect and accept her; How to stop attacking her self-respect and dignity!
Sachin, I am so happy, we have raised a woman, who doesn’t shy away from standing for herself; who is ready to let the world know that she isn’t week and she won’t be broken so easily!”