“Sheetal, you should try to find happiness in this house. This is your place and I don’t stop you from doing things that you like. You need to understand, I have a life too. I have my social circle. I can’t leave all that to sit at home to make sure that no one says anything to you. I can’t always be around to see who said what to you!
You need to learn how to adjust. And, you need to resolve your own matters. You should learn to handle things on your own. And, stop picking up battles with mom; it is a home for god sake; not a battlefield.”
As I stood still, my husband stormed out of the house and went out to meet his college friends. While he was chilling out with his friends, I was feeling dumb, lonely, and heartbroken.
After a while, I realized how my husband was definitely wrong about one thing:
It wasn’t a home; It was actually a battlefield.
A battlefield, where I was waging battles every day. A battle of equality; a battle of respect; a battle of being loved; a battle of being accepted. And, I had to fight this battle all alone. The man who made a promise to protect me till the last breath; now feels, my fight for my dreams and dignity isn’t his battle to fight. It was so easy for him to say ignore or adjust.
Sadly, when he said to ignore it or make adjustments, what he really meant was that he can’t do anything about how his parents treat me. I need to adjust and get used to suffering in silence.
It is heartbreaking how I left my parents in a hope that I will come to a loving home, where I would be treated nothing less than a daughter. And, how I ignored all those stories of women struggling after marriage for their acceptance. I felt I was different and so were my husband and in-laws. But, with time, I realized I was so wrong. I wasn’t special and neither was my husband & in-laws.
As I write about my struggles, I just have one question for my in-laws –
I left my home, my parents, my family for you. You promised my parents that you are going to make their daughter happy. You will give her another loving home.
Were they foolish to believe you? Was I stupid to trust you? I thought you will bless me with love, respect, and care and so will I.
But, rather than giving me a loving home, you gave me a battlefield where I am fighting battles every day!
And, as I am taking a note of my life, I find myself at the crossroads, where I wanted to love you and respect you! But, I can’t. Because as they say love and respect is a two-way street!
So next time, if you ever think about why I don’t love and respect you, then the problem isn’t me! The problem is you!