“Now, our daughter is yours. Keep her as you like. She is your daughter now!”
“Humari Beti Ab Aaapki Huyi. Rakhiye Jaise Rakhna Hai!”
“Humari Beti toh Aapki Amaanat thi! Ab Jo Aapko Theek Lage Waise Kariye!”
On the occasion of marriage, how many times have I heard so many fathers and mothers saying that their daughter is not theirs anymore. Now their daughter is either her husband’s responsibility or In-laws.
Sorry, but I think that’s the most stupid thing a parent can say or do. Firstly, a daughter is not an object that you could just hand it over to someone else and snap all your emotional ties with her. Secondly, once a daughter is always a daughter.
So, dear daughter’s in-law, remember, my daughter is still my daughter and she will remain my daughter till I breathe my last breath.
As your son married for companionship, so did my daughter. And, as you want my daughter to take care of your son, I want my son-in-law to take care of my daughter. So, don’t even mistake that you can keep my daughter the way you like. Many Indian parents would give that right to their in-laws but I won’t. Here’s how I want my daughter to be kept. And, if you can’t treat my daughter right, then remember we are always there for her!
1. Treat her with respect and dignity
Unlike many in-laws, don’t think of treating my daughter without respect. If you want respect, remember you need to respect her too. Because we have taught our daughter that home is where the respect is!
2. Don’t make her feel ashamed of who she is
Like any parent, it’s fine to make her realize her mistakes. But, it’s not fine to make her feel ashamed of who she is. It isn’t fair to gang-up against her and make fun of her. Remember, she has just agreed to change her home, not her personality. So, don’t make her feel guilty about her values. She has every right to laugh the way she does, she has the right to talk the way she does! She will wear the clothes that she likes!
3. Don’t taunt or insult her to please your ego
Unlike many parents, we won’t remain silent if our daughter will be taunted and insulted by people to please their shallow egos. We won’t stay quiet if our daughter’s happiness sucked out by the family politics. Don’t assume that we won’t speak up if toxic people hurt our daughter. We won’t let her suffer in silence.
4. Let her dream just like your son
The way you would let your son dream, let my daughter dream too! The way you want your son to scale new heights and fulfill his dreams, the same way I want my daughter to fulfill hers!
5. Treat her as you want your son to be treated
The bottom line is that you treat her the way you want your son to be treated. The way you want us to love and respect your son, I expect the same love and respect for my daughter.
In case you are not able to do, I want you to remember that our daughter isn’t alone. Our home, our heart, and our life is always open for her. She is ours first and then yours!
I am writing this letter in the hope that not only future in-laws but also many parents would read it and stop treating their daughters as an object to be handed over to in-laws. They will stop treating daughters as paraya dhan. Because as I said, once a daughter always a daughter!