Here’s an open letter to a mother-in-law, who disrespects her daughter-in-law and her choices but expects respect in return. Through this heart-touching letter to her mother-in-law, this daughter-in-law wants to send across a very important lesson about RESPECT that we feel is a must-read.
Dear Mother-In-Law,
Many times, when I hear you telling your friends or family that “Aajkal ki Bahuyein Kahan Respect Deti Hai Bado Ko”, I just want to tell you – Respect is a two-way street. Sadly when you can’t respect another person, you don’t hold any right to expect the same. Doesn’t matter if that person is your Bahu or her parents? If you can’t respect an individual, the individual has no obligation or desire to respect you. Period.
According to me, it is not about Aajkal ki Bahuyein have no respect for elders. But, today’s daughters-in-law are different than they used to be. Raised by parents to be strong and independent, they don’t find themselves weak to not raise their voices for themselves. They give respect to elders but they expect elders to respect their choices as well. And, I don’t feel it is too much to ask for.
Why do you feel the urge to control me and my choices? After marriage, like any new bride, I was excited to get a new family. But, all I got was a set of rules to follow. Anything that I do as per my taste or my wish, you are the first one to condemn and say – “Humare Ghar Mein Aise Nahin Hota”. I am left with one thought – Kya Yeh Mera Ghar Nahin Hai?
You never showed any respect to my choices, but you expect me to respect you for treating me nothing more than an overqualified maid.
While in our offices, your son and I are equal, it is you who doesn’t leave a chance to treat me less. It is heartbreaking how you believe that only your son slogs all day to earn money for the family and turn a blind eye to the fact that I work equally hard. Through your countless words and gestures, you have made me feel lesser than your son and still, you want me to respect you, But why should I?
I do understand that I married your son. And, as you realize that you are not the only lady in his life, you need to stop competing against me. You are the first lady in your son’s life and you will always be. But, you need to stop disrespecting me for being a special person in your son’s life.
It breaks my heart every time –
When you criticize me for the choices that I make for a better future.
When I stand for myself against society for the things I believe in.
When you blame my parents for not teaching me the values that would have made me a better daughter-in-law.
When you criticize me for being a strong independent woman, who live to make her own choices.
When you blame my education and clothes to be so modern that I was left with no ‘sanskaar’.
From blaming my parents to my education to my clothes, you have never respected any aspect of my life. Then, I wonder how you expect me to respect you. I hope one day you will realize that I am not a monster, who wants to snatch away your son. Rather I am just another woman, who wants you to respect and accept her as a part of your family.
Till that day, I am sorry but I won’t be able to respect you because once again – Respect is a two-way street!
