Dear Mother-in-law,
Over the last four years of marriage, I realized that you will never accept me as one of your own. Doesn’t matter how hard I try, you will neither love me nor respect me. So after a series of disappointment, I learned the most important lesson of my married life: I should never expect anything from you.
But somewhere deep down in my heart, I had a hope that one fine day things will get better between us. That one fine day, we would find a delicate balance in our relationship that we may not love, but atleast respect each other!
I thought that would happen, when I will give you the news of bringing your grandchild into the world! I hoped that with the news of next-generation, you would show some basic concern and empathy towards me. The concern that was missing from our relationship since the time I stepped into your son’s life.
As I lost my mother to cancer last year, I thought you would be the only person, who would be able to understand my emotion of becoming a mother! Maybe I was looking for a mother figure in you. But, I was such a fool. You are not even a fraction of who my mother was.
Do you remember, when the doctor told us about complications in my pregnancy, how you reacted?
When he mentioned how there was a strong chance of miscarriage and I should be on complete bed rest, you were more worried about who would cook for the family.
Do you remember, how you judged me for being exhausted during pregnancy? When I slept for an extra hour in the morning because of tiredness and the medicines, you stared at me like I have committed a crime.
When I was vomiting intensively, rather than taking me to the doctor, you kept taunting and cursing me. You kept telling me how weak I was in handling in natural sickness by comparing how you never let natural sickness bother you in doing household chores.
Do you remember, how you asked my husband, your son, to stay out of pregnancy matters and let you take a lead? You told him that while he doesn’t know anything about pregnancy, you have given birth to two kids and know A-Z’s of pregnancy. Frankly, I wouldn’t have mind you taking the lead too if you took the doctor’s advice relating to my health seriously.
But sadly, all you did was to remind me of my medical test bills again and again. How I was a burden on your son and how your son has to work so hard so that he could take care of the family that is getting bigger.
I still remember, how you forcefully made me resign from the job two years back saying how your family was financially sound and how you want your daughter-in-law to take care of the family. By the biggest mistake of my life – I listened to you and left my job.
It is heartbreaking how while you kept pointing out my medical bills, I kept ignoring you. Because my husband made me believe that you don’t mean ill. But he was so damn wrong about it.
After 9 months, when I gave birth to my little angel, Sneha, what you did, not only broke my heart but also shut down all the desires to make our relationship normal. I never loved you; I never respected you, but I never wanted to hate you!
But, when you blamed my little angel and called her names, you crossed all the limits and broke my patience. Rather than being happy for your grand-daughter, how you created a drama in the hospital in front of my father and other relatives shows your true nature.
How rather than thanking God for blessing you with a beautiful grandchild, you called your grandchild a burden! You didn’t care how you blamed or cursed me for not giving birth to a son and ruining your son’s life by giving birth to another burden.
Dear Mother-in-law,
I would have ignored all that you did to me in the hope that one fine day, we would find out a way to accept each other’s presence in our lives. But if you try to make my daughter the victim of your toxicity, I won’t take it anymore. I won’t let you make her feel any less of herself. I won’t ignore a single taunt or comment that would hurt my daughter.
So, here is a humble request: We may not like each other. But don’t give any more reason to hate you. If you can’t celebrate my daughter’s presence; then stay away from her! Because I am not going to let my daughter suffer the same abuse that I did!
The wife in me ignored your toxic behavior, the mother in me won’t!
Your daughter-in-law
