It is heartbreaking how our regressive society expects the parents of the daughters, to give away a precious part of our lives to others. But what is even more painful for any parent is to see their daughter being insulted or mistreated by those, for whom she left behind everything.
While society has a never-ending list of instructions for our daughters on how to be a good wife or daughter-in-law, they hardly have any set of instructions for our sons. It is heart-wrenching that our 21st-century society still expects us to teach our daughters to ‘adjust’ or ‘compromise’ in her in-laws’ family. While it still forgets to teach our sons to respect our daughters and treat them as equal partners.
If you or your daughter are blessed with a supportive husband, who respects you for who you are, then you may not relate to what you are about to read. And, I am extremely happy for you. But please remember that everyone isn’t as fortunate as you are.
Like many daughters who struggle with the ugly realities of life, my daughter did too. She was made to feel like she was non-existent. It’s heartbreaking how the values of caring and love that we taught her failed her. While she was there for everyone, there was hardly anyone for her. She changed herself for others but her so-call new family members refused to see it. It broke our hearts every time when she called up to share how she was mistreated or insulted. It shocked us how she was made to feel like a horrible person, whenever she wanted her husband’s time and affection.
Finally, we came together as a family to let our son-in-law know that things need to change.
Our daughter doesn’t deserve such mistreatment. And if he couldn’t see her value, we would take her back as we won’t let our daughter suffer anymore. We told him gone are the days when parents would let their daughters suffer just because of ‘log kya kahengey‘. We didn’t let our daughter got married to him to be insulted.
We told him that we will take our daughter and she won’t get back till the family and our son-in-law know how to treat her with respect. We wanted to let our son-in-law know that his wife is still our daughter. And she is definitely not alone. Post which, our son-in-law asked for another chance to get things right. And we agreed.
Its been 4 months now and things are definitely getting better. But we know there are so many daughters who are still struggling. As parents of a daughter, we want every son-in-law needs to know that please don’t get married if you can’t value our daughters.
Please don’t think you can mistreat our daughters.
We raised her to be strong and independent. So, if you can’t handle her with respect and kindness, you don’t deserve her. Just the way you have the support of your family, our daughter has ours. The way you are an apple of your parent’s eyes, our daughter was and is our pride. She cannot be treated without respect, without love!
We would do anything to bring a smile back on her face
Since her childhood, we are trying our level best to give our daughter the best life. We gave up our dreams so that she can dream. We gave up our wings so that she can fly. So, believe us when we say, we can do anything to wipe her tears.
Get a caretaker/cook if you just want a wife to cook your meals and take care of your parents
We didn’t get our daughter married to be treated as a servant or maid. If you only want someone to cook your meals or look after your parents, it is better to get a caretaker and cook. Please don’t get married.
If you don’t know how to treat your wife as an equal, you don’t deserve her
We don’t care how much you earn or how much is your bank balance, if you can’t treat our daughters as equal, you don’t deserve them. Our daughters don’t get married to listen to the toxic voices, who tell them – how they are not good enough; how they don’t fit-in; how they talk too much, how they are not good wives or daughters-in-law.
If you can’t give our daughters love and respect, if you can’t protect their dignity, if you can’t fight for their dreams, if you can’t take a stand for their happiness; then you don’t deserve them. Period.